Development No Longer Arrested On Arrested Development Movie

Here's Jason Bateman this week at the premiere of his new film, Couples Retreat. The photo caption says that trick is his wife but clearly that's a mistake since that is not a picture of the two of us together. Interesting.

Seriously, how lovable is the Bateman? He's the kind of guy with whom you'd never have a one-night-stand because you want to date this guy, not just bang him (although obvi, you totes want to do that too) You want to go to dinner and movies with him, you want to bring him home to your parents, you want to eat brunch with him on a lovely Sunday afternoon, you want to spend the holidays with him, you want to spend a weekend in the mountains with him where you'd sip champagne by the fire and swap funny stories, and eventually you'd marry him in an expensive yet elegantly tasteful ceremony.

J-Bate was on the Ellen Degeneres show today where he confirmed an Arrested Development movie is in the works. Taste the happy! We already knew this was true but it's been quiet on the AD movie front lately so it's nice to get an update. I'd cry but I can't spare the moisture. Jason says the project is in the script stage and they hope to be on set by the middle of next year. Below is another picture of Jason Bateman. Just because.

Couples Retreat opens this weekend and was directed by this guy below. Does he look familiar?

It's Ralphie from A Christmas Story! I guess he didn't shoot his eye out with that Red Ryder BB Gun! Go Ralphie!!!!

I Want to Bait This Man

The offices of Details magazine are clearly are located inside the bowels of my warped mind. Last issue featured the hotness of Bradley Cooper on the cover (sitting in my kitchen as I type) 

Now editors have gifted me yet again by putting my TV husband Jason Bateman on the cover.


Shit, yo. Who needs an analyst or therapist or an analrapist when you have this to get you through the day? Cash is tight right now but there's always money in the banana stand so this magazine will be mine. Even if it means taking a chubby, I will suck it up. I just hope I don't get to the store before the issue hits newstands. I don't want to prematurely blow my load and what was supposed to be a dry run and then have quite a mess on my hands.

When this issue is out, you should pick it up, sit back with some hot ham water, or get a stew going and read up on the Bateman, maybe while drinking some juice. Juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!

In the mag, J-Bate talks about being a child star, going out of control with booze and blow in his late teens and 20s as well as the best thing of all....the status of an Arrested Development movie saying;

"We're gonna make the movie...Mitch Hurwitz is just starting to write it. It'll be out in a year and a half." 

Yessss!!!!!!! 

I'm so glad George Michael (not the singer/songwriter) stopped being such a punk ass bitch and signed on, I was beginning to think he got off on withholding but he's for sure, for sure on board. After all, there's no 'i' in 'Teamocil' at least not where you'd think. 

In celebration of this most glorious news, feast your eyes upon some of the delicious Bateman eye candy from Details;

Yeah, the guy in the $3000 suit is gonna hold the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months....COME ON!!

Uhm....what does it say about me that I'd rather read Details than like, Cosmo or Vogue? Am I a guy in the brains? I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it. My gut is telling me no, but my gut is also very hungry...

Thanks for reading this, I know there are many other blogs out there, like the Bob Loblaw Law Blog for instance.

Gob and Wife of Gob

Here's Amy Poehler and Will Arnett at the premiere of Amy's new show Parks and Recreation. 

I cannot look at these two without immediately thinking of this brilliant exchange;

Wife Of Gob: I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
Gob: You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife Of Gob: No, your sister's husband.
Gob: Michael? Michael!
Wife Of Gob: No, that's your sister's brother.
Gob: No, I'm my sister's brother. You're in love with me - me.
Wife Of Gob: I'm in love with Tobias.
Gob: My brother-in-law?
Wife Of Gob: I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
Gob: To be with your brother ..
Wife Of Gob: No!

Speaking of Arrested Development, when the hell is this movie gonna happen?!

Daily Male: Will Arnett

In celebration of the news that Michael Cera has signed on to the Arrested Development movie (scroll your ass down for deets) George Michael's uncle, George Oscar Bluth aka GOB is today's Daily Male.



There's something dirty about GOB. Michael Bluth is the one you want to marry but not before having a dirty weekend with GOB. You'd wake up in the morning, still half in a vodka haze, turn and find him in your bed and think to yourself 'I've made a huge mistake.' Then you'd have morning sexy times cause what the hell, what's done is done. Don't lie, you've been there too. I don't know what it is about GOB, I think it's his sexy voice. My friend Scotty once said "I'd like to give GOB a job." Me too Scotty, me too....



Yeah, the guy wearing the $4000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. COME ON!


It's the final countdown da da da da da da da da da.....


GOB and Elmo performing tricks. Oops, I mean, illusions.


I know you think this photo is retarded Scotty but I think it's totes adorbs. Wife of Gob. If I didn't love Amy Poehler so much, I'd hate her.



Strangely, I am somewhat turned on my this...I'm confused.

Has My Faith in George Michael Paid Off?

George Michael, the singer songwriter, once said these inspiring words;

I gotta have faith...
Mmm, I gotta have faith
'Cause I gotta have faith, faith,
I gotta have faith-a-faith-a-faith, baby!

Well, it seems my faith in the other George Michael, the woodblocksman, Mr. Manager (or is it just manager?) may have paid off. Marry me!



E! is reporting that Michael Cera, the lone holdout on an Arrested Development movie has finally stopped being a bastard like Steve Holt! and has signed on. Sources say the movie is all systems go. Now everybody is laughing and riding and cornholing! Taste the happy! Kinda tastes like sad. Phew! I was starting to think Michael Cera got off on withholding. Perhaps Mr. Cera has finally realized there's no 'i' in Teamocil? At least not where you think. I'd cry but I can't spare the moisture.

A source tells E! that Arrested Development creator Mitch Hurwitz will direct and not Ron Howard as previously suspected.

So how do I feel about this? I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it. Actually if this is accurate I will jump right into bed with George Michael and I wouldn't just lie there Michael Bluth, if that's what you're thinking! I can't wait to see what tricks they have up their sleeve for the movie. I mean 'illusions' a trick is something a whore does for money. Or cocaine.

Hopefully this will actually, for reals happen and I won't have to come back on here and admit that I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run and now I have somewhat of a mess on my hands.

I Gotta Have Faith in George Michael

This is Michael Cera at Sundance. He's there with a film called Paper Heart. Let me guess he's playing a neurotic, awkward, socially inept guy in his late teens/early 20s? What a stretch.

Dear Michael Cera,

I love you, I really do. Your wood block skills? Unparalleled. Truly. And it's from a place of love that I say this to you; If your reported refusal to sign on to the Arrested Development move prevents that shit from being made, I will cut you.

Love,
Dirty Blonde
XOXO

Taste The Happy, Taste the Sad

I will admit it, I did not watch Arrested Development when it was on the air. Several people told me how brilliant it was but for whatever reason, I never had the inclination to check it out. My bad, although I believe a piss poor marketing campaign by FOX is also partly to blame. I was eventually introduced to the sheer genius of Arrested Development during Thanksgiving weekend of 2007 when a friend handed me all three seasons on DVD and essentially ordered me to watch. I wasn't even half way through the first season when my life changed forever. Soon, words and phrases like 'I've made a huge mistake,' 'analrapist,' 'Annyong,' 'nevernude' and "her?" became permanent additions to my lexicon.

I became obsessed with Arrested Development and made it my personal mission to not only seek out other Arrested Development fans with whom to chat about the show and compare favourite quotes, but to also expose those who had not yet been introduced to the show and convert them. I was like Tom Cruise and Arrested Development was my Scientology. Like Tom, I started calling those unaware of AD 'glib' and started jumping on friends' couches when professing my undying love for the show. Unlike Tom Cruise, however, I am not a closeted homosexual but presented with the opportunity to make out with Portia DiRossi aka Lindsay Bluth, I can't say I'd turn that shit down (sorry Ellen) Liking, scratch that, LOVING Arrested Development became a new (and possibly the most important) criteria in a boyfriend. I simply could not entertain the idea of dating someone who didn't like the show. Having not watched the show was allowed only if, after watching it under my supervision, he would become one of the enlightened. Having seen the show and NOT falling immediately in love with it was tantamount to being a smoker or someone who doesn't drink- a total dealbreaker. I remember last year, about three months after my conversion, being on a second date with a guy who, by all accounts was cute and smart. I started asking him about Arrested Development but upon hearing he did not 'get' my show, my vagina dried up faster than Tara Reid's at a party with no open bar. I really should have dramatically stormed out right after he dropped this bombshell but this bitch will never turn down a free meal. I knew immediately this dude and I had no future and he instantly became so ugly to me that the thought of making out with him disgusted me. I mean, I still did it but I didn't enjoy it as much as I would have had it been the tongue of a fellow Arrested Development fan swirling around inside my mouth. There was, however, NO TOUCHING! I never did see that boy again. That's just fine because I never cared for him, much like Lucille never cared for Gob...

Anyway, talk of an Arrested Development movie has swirled since the show was unceremoniously pulled from the airwaves in 2006 but chatter about a big screen incarnation is louder than ever. Creator Mitch Hurwitz is on board as is executive producer/narrator Ron Howard who is in talks to direct. Reports say all the original cast members are ready to hop on the stair car save for one lone holdout - Michael Cera aka George Michael Bluth. The news is like a knife to my heart, or at least the part of my chest where my heart is supposed to be. It seems Cera not only has a busy schedule with four movies in development, but rumour has it that the Brampton, Ontario boy is hesitant to reprise the character who once boasted of his finely-tuned internal clock (it IS after all, why he's such a natural percussionist)

I feel so deceived. Maybe it isn't Steve Holt! who's the bastard, but George Michael? Why would he NOT jump at the chance to be part of an Arrested Development movie? I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it. I lied, I will respond. If the rumours are true, Michael Cera is an ungrateful little twerp who best sit down and recognize why any of us know his name in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I have mad love for Michael Cera, he's adorable and if I was a teacher and he was my student, I can't promise I wouldn't go all Mary Kay Letourneau on his ass. NOBODY plays painfully awkward teenager better than Michael Cera which is why he keeps playing a painfully awkward teenager in each and every one of the films he's done since the show wrapped. If he truly thinks returning to the character would be a step back for him, he really needs to watch Superbad, Juno and Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist over again because he is playing George Michael or a variation of George Michael in each of those movies. If he's not above playing a George Michael-like character on the big screen, why not just suck it the fuck up and play the actual George Michael?

In conclusion, this movie NEEDS to happen. And if Michael Cera won't sign on maybe they could get the other George Michael. You know, the singer/songwriter.