T.I.'s Former Ho Needs Kimora Lee Simmons' Lawyer

T.I. will be digging further into his wallet after one of this three baby mamas took his ass to court to increase his child support payments for their two kids. T.I. will now be paying five thousand dollars a month for his sons aged seven and eight. His ex really needs to speak to Kimora Lee Simmons. That bitch is raking in 40 thousand dollars a month for her two kids. Five thousand a month is some amateur shit!

T.I. has four other kids from two other women. I'm no mathlete but that equals six kids. SIX!!! I love T.I. I love his music and he's a hot piece but dude really needs to get this shit under control. If I was a super rich rapper, well that would be pretty comical, but I would NOT be spreading my seeds all over town. Sure, I'd be banging a different trick in every town but I'd be wrapping that shit up tight! Like, Fort Knox-style. I don't understand these rich, famous dudes who father kids all over the place. Why you wanna be sharing your millions? Why do you want the hassle? George Clooney needs to teach these guys a thing or two! He's a manwhore yes but the most his bitches are going to get out of the deal are a trip to his villa in Italy, a closet full of new clothes and if they're really lucky, a ticket to the Oscars. What they're not getting is a cheque in the mail every month.

Copy and paste this link for T.I.'s latest video, Dead and Gone featuring the Justin Timberlake. Cause one never needs an excuse to stare at TI and JT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQDVv48zSrE

Michael Phelps is a Dumbass

Not because he smoked pot but because he got caught.

This weekend, the UK tabloid News of The World printed a photo Olympic gold medallist and all around genetic wonderboy Michael Phelps enthusiastically taking a bong hit like he was Paris Hilton and the bong was a big cock. Actually, scratch that reference, I've seen her tape and bitch answered her celly in the middle of giving a BJ. If I was Rick Solomon, her costar, I would have been like 'bitch get your ass back to work, they don't call this a job for nothing.' Man, Paris truly does suck at everything, even sucking.

Anywhore, the News of The World ran a story about Phelps' pot smokage at a party back in November. A 23-year-old dude smokes weed?!?! WHAT? Next you're going to tell me water is wet. My whole belief system is shattered! Up is down, black is white, right is left.

I can't wait for all the uptight, puritanical, holier than thou people to rage out about how Michael Phelps is a horrible role model. Personally, I could not care less. It's not like dude was snorting lines off a whore's ass and even then I wouldn't care. The guy has spent an ungodly amount of time in the pool training and after rocking the fuck out of the Olympics, he's entitled to blow off some steam, I think anyway. Unless he's doing something that harms others, I don't fucking care. I don't understand people who hold up sports figures, or any celebrity as role models. Michael Phelps' job was to kick some crazy ass in the pool. He did that. The fact that he gets down with Mary Jane after the fact doesn't detract from his accomplishments. I don't think he owes anyone anything else. Hell, I love Justin Timberlake but I'd be willing to put money on him being an insufferable bag of douche. I don't care. I don't want to be his friend, I want that bitch to churn out more sweet dance floor jams, put on a suit and dance like the sex dance monkey he is. I don't give a shit what he does behind closed doors. I might make fun of him for it and it might kill my ladybone for him but I wouldn't let it determine whether or not I listened to his music.

However, I suppose when you're paid millions of dollars by corporations to be the face and image of their products, they pretty much own your ass. Which explains why Phelps' people DESPERATELY tried to stop this story from making it to press, pretty much offering up Michael Phelps in front of them on his knees (and not for beggin' if you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down)

Michael Phelps has of course issued the expected apology for his behaviour. I'd have more respect for him if he was like "Dudes, I'm 23, I'm having fun. Fuck off." And then slapped a bitch with one of his eight gold medals. I guess endorsement money talks though.


Next time, dumbass, just make sure nobody's pulling out a camera. Seriously.

Christina Applegate


I think Christina Applegate's dress was my favourite of the night. I love the corset top and the flowing bottom but most of all, I love the colour. I love when people wear colour, particularly when blondes wear yellow. As a fellow blonde, I'm partial to yellow and don't think blondes wear enough of it, it's flattering. Except for this one time, I had to wear a yellow bridesmaid dress in a dear friend's wedding. My friend was super cool and chose the material but let us pick our own dress patterns. Awesome, right? Yeah, not so much.

I had just moved to a new city and didn't know any dressmakers. The Ukrainian seamstress I chose randomly out of the phonebook really could have worked for Mountain Equipment Co-op because she made me a fucking two-man tent! I could have been eight months pregnant and still worn that shit with room for a sleeping bag, air mattress and cooler in there! I was so uncomfortable and self-conscious all night and hoped I didn't ruin my friend's wedding pictures with my tentdress.

Anyway, back to Christina Applegate, Kelly Bundy grew up nice.