You Probably Can't Have Whatever You Like in Jail

We all knew this was coming but rapper T.I. was sentenced today to a year and a day behind bars on federal weapons charges. T.I. had previously plead guilty to attempting to buy unregistered machine guns and silencers (dude, that's excessive) He's already completed a thousand hours of community service. T.I. is a hot piece so if I was the judge, you can imagine what that 'community service' would have entailed.

T.I. issued a statement following the sentencing saying "Today I would like to say thank you to some, and apologize to all." That's pretty similar to the standard text I often have to send out after a night of a thousand vodka sodas.

T.I. has between 30 and 60 days to report to the hooscow. On a somewhat-related note, I like saying 'hooscow.'

T.I.'s Former Ho Needs Kimora Lee Simmons' Lawyer

T.I. will be digging further into his wallet after one of this three baby mamas took his ass to court to increase his child support payments for their two kids. T.I. will now be paying five thousand dollars a month for his sons aged seven and eight. His ex really needs to speak to Kimora Lee Simmons. That bitch is raking in 40 thousand dollars a month for her two kids. Five thousand a month is some amateur shit!

T.I. has four other kids from two other women. I'm no mathlete but that equals six kids. SIX!!! I love T.I. I love his music and he's a hot piece but dude really needs to get this shit under control. If I was a super rich rapper, well that would be pretty comical, but I would NOT be spreading my seeds all over town. Sure, I'd be banging a different trick in every town but I'd be wrapping that shit up tight! Like, Fort Knox-style. I don't understand these rich, famous dudes who father kids all over the place. Why you wanna be sharing your millions? Why do you want the hassle? George Clooney needs to teach these guys a thing or two! He's a manwhore yes but the most his bitches are going to get out of the deal are a trip to his villa in Italy, a closet full of new clothes and if they're really lucky, a ticket to the Oscars. What they're not getting is a cheque in the mail every month.

Copy and paste this link for T.I.'s latest video, Dead and Gone featuring the Justin Timberlake. Cause one never needs an excuse to stare at TI and JT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQDVv48zSrE

The Grammys

I am an awards show junkie so of course my ass turned into the Grammy awards last night. Although they should really be called the Granny Awards because what the fuck was with Robert Plant and Alison Krauss winning album of the year? Over Coldplay? Over Radiohead? Really? And why the hell was Stevie Wonder performing with the Jonas Brothers? Have some respect for yourself, Stevie! I know you're blind but you're not deaf too are you?

Below are other random thoughts about the Grannies.


I was on my way home from a weekend road trip so unfortunately I missed my boys from Dublin. I love U2 but I'm not overly devastated about missing their performance. I keep trying to like their new song but when I hear it, I just want to 'get on my boots' and walk out the door. I'm sorry Robyn and Tara, I'm trying!!!!!


How awesome was Radiohead with the University of Southern California's marching band? Seriously!


Jordin Sparks was nominated for her song No Air featuring Chris Brown. No air is apparently what Chris Brown's girlfriends get when he's got his hands around their throats.


JT + TI = Jizz in my pants. Although TI has really got to lose that stupid cap of his. His pants, too.

Daily Male: T.I.

If you wanna come and kick it with a stand up guy...

Today's Daily Male is chocolate-flavoured. I didn't know who T.I. was until his ass popped up in JT's My Love video. Now he's everywhere and I'm totally cool with that. Sure, he's gonna spend a year in jail on some crazy weapons charges, yeah he's 28-years-old and got six kids but he's also got stacks on deck, Patron on ice and we can pop bottles all night.






I got lots of these guns, that's why my ass goin' to jail!


I want YOU to be my next babymama.