Yes, We Do

Like this, that is.

JT and the other dudes from The Social Network on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. JT also gets his own cover. Cause he's Justin fucking Timberlake, bitch!

Inside the mag, Justin talks about why he's breaking my heart by focusing on acting right now instead of making music. Here's an excerpt, grab a tissue and read on;

EW: Are there people you work with who are telling you that you should put another record out sooner rather than later?
JT: …Does a painter make a painting because he has to make it by December 21st? No, he doesn’t. It happens when it pours out of him. That’s how music is for me….

EW: Do you think it’s dangerous to wait so long? Christina Aguilera waited four years between albums, and her fans don’t seem to care about her right now.
JT: If you’re asking me, no. I never stop making music. I don’t know what else to tell you, except that I just don’t know [in] what capacity I want to be involved anymore.

EW: That sounds very final.
JT: No. All I’m saying is, in very simple terms, I’ll know when I know. And until I know, I don’t know.

I'm crying. But I also find it interesting that JT randomly picked December 21st. That happens to be my birthday. I'm pretty sure it means we're soul mates. Despite what this pesky restraining order says...

"We Just Wanna Dance Again!"

Justin Timberlake at the NYC premiere of The Social Network

Did you see SNL this weekend? Katy Perry pretty much shat the bed and made a real case for the merits of lip syncing but also, my love, Justin Timberlake made a couple of cameo appearances. First, in a dream sequence in the opening monologue and then in a sketch called Actor II Actor in which Andy Samberg played a James Lipton-like character interviewing JT about his acting career. His first question? "When are you going to make some more music?" and as Justin storms off he pleads "We just wanna dance again!"

Word.

Andy Samberg pretty much said what we've all been thinking, right? We get it, JT. You wanna be a jack of all trades, you're a clothing designer, you've got a fragrance, you own a restaurant, I think you opened a golf course or some shit like that, yeah, I get it, you're an overachiever. If I didn't love you so much, I'd hate your ass. Howevs, it's time to return to your roots, and I don't mean your big blonde jew fro, I mean it's time to get your ass back in the studio and make some more music! A full album, not more collabos with Rihanna, Ciara and Timbo, I want at least ten tracks of JT and I want them right fucking now! FutureSexLoveSounds was a long time ago. Four years to be exact. A lot has happened in four years. Do you know that when most people hear "Justin" now, they immediately think of Bieber? He's a fetus! That shit ain't right, JT. It must be remedied!

A quick glance at your imdb page tells me that after this Facebook flick of yours, you've got a couple more movies on the go, Bad Teacher and Friends With Benefits. Since those are already in the can, I'll grant you those but after that, NO MORE MOVIES until you finish another album. That is an order!

Remember Justin, we just wanna dance again!

Get Audi My Dreams, Get Into My Pants

Here is Justin Timberlake at some car show in Switzerland. I don't know why he's at a car show, I just know that I'm suddenly overcome with the urge to writhe around on the top of that car a la 80s video vixen Tawney Kitaen in Whitesnake's amazing video for Here I Go Again. Click below for a refresher. Those two used to be married. The amount of hair product they must have went through!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3MXiTeH_Pg

Justin Time For My Turkey Hangover

It's Mr. JT. This is just what I need today after pigging out on two Thanksgiving dinners last night. Yesterday I was thankful for friends and family. Today I will be thankful for laxatives and coffee.

My boy is in Vegas hosting the Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children tournament. JT has three chances to sink a hole in one, if he does Callaway will donate a million bucks to Shriners Hospitals.

Speaking of Justin and holes, some friends and I were recently discussing whether we think Justin Timberlake is good in the sack. I maintain that, as a wicked dancer, he probably has mad skillz because he's got all kinds of sick moves. My friends offered that while that might be the case, he is probably selfish in bed, that it would be all about him. I can see that, too. Yes, we actually spent a good deal amount of time dissecting this. Make of that what you will.

Another pic of JT below. Just because.

I'd like to see Justin with more facial hair. Embrace the scruff, JT!

And I Think to Myself, What a Motherloving World

Here's my love,  Justin Timberlake out walking his other bitch the other day. 

Did you know JT was nominated last week for three Emmy Awards?  I love it. One is for hosting SNL and the other two are for songwriting, first for the diddy I Love Sports from when he hosted the 2008 ESPY Awards and the second of course being the genius that was MotherLover. 

Just when I'm hating the world and everything and everyone on it, just when I'm about ready to reach for the bottle of Grey Goose, a couple of razor blades and contemplate calling it a life, a song about fucking your friend's mom gets an Emmy nomination and I think "World, maybe you're not so bad after all. I'm not done with you just yet, I ain't ready to peace out right now. Things might actually be okay!" And I put down the razor blades. But not the vodka.

JT already has an Emmy on his mantle for Dick in a Box. Again, amazing.

I Have No Real Reason For Posting This

Other than it's Justin Timberlake looking mighty fine in this brown leather jacket. That's reason enough for me, my friends. It's just that simple.

After all, I'm just a simple country girl, you might say a cockeyed optimist who got herself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue.

No JT Without MJ

Here's My Love,  Justin Timberlake performing yesterday in London at Elton John's White Tie and Tiara Ball (how fun!) 

Without MJ before him, JT would not exist. No way. And for those of us that have been 'justified' that means nobody to rock our bodies, cry us a river, sexy would never have been brought back, we'd never know that what goes around, comes around and we'd have nobody to leave us lovestoned. Also, no dick in a box, no motherloving, nobody talkin' bout chest hair and crazy cool medallions and the streets of Omlettville, Homelessville and Plasticville would be empty. And that my pets, is no world in which I want to live. 

Naturally since he was so obviously influenced by the King of Pop, JT had this to say about MJ's untimely passing;

"I can't find the words right now to express how deeply saddened I am by Michael’s passing... we have lost a genius and a true ambassador of not only Pop music but of all music."

He's Bringing Geeky Back

Here's Mr. JT acting as Mr. MC at a United Jewish Appeal Federation charity event honouring one of the record execs on Justin's label, Jive.

Justin, unlike his fellow motherlover Andy Samberg, is actually not Jewish but at Thursday's event, considered himself an honourary Heb, saying;

"Who am I? I'm just another schmendrick who used to be in a goy band," he said, to a room of laughter. "I don't know what the hell that means either, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be funny...Ok, that's enough schtick in the box from me."

Justin is still rocking the glasses and his hot professor look. If I was a student, I would do something really bad in class so I'd have to stay after school in detention and bang erasers. Of course by 'erasers' I mean 'him.'

Swallow the Juice of Justin

Here's JT over the weekend at Tenjune in NYC for the launch of his new tequila, 901. If you're wondering what the significance of 901 is, it's the area code of Justin's hometown, Memphis, Tennessee. I think he should have called it 911 because that's the number that would need to be dialed if I drank too much of this product. Seriously, tequila is evil. An evil temptress.

I Needed More JT

Because Justin Timberlake and Andy Sambo are such good buddies, I expected Mr. JT to show up on last night's MTV Movie Awards. He appeared only in a quick cameo in the cold open so to fulfill the need for JT porn, here are some shots of him out and about in LA last night with his girlfriend whose photo I could not be bothered to post.  

KOL + Samberg = OMFG

I just jizzed in my pants.



Kings of Leon will perform at the MTV Movie Awards! Yessss!!!!!! The awards, as we know, will be hosted by the hot Jew sex bomb that is Andy Samberg and it's rumoured that Sambo's good friend and fellow motherlover Justin Timberlake will make some sort of appearance. This is on top of the fact that the love of my life Paul Rudd and my man friend Jason Segel are nommed for awards.

Someone put 911 on my speed dial cause I'm probably gonna stroke out mid-show, piss my pants and forget my name for half an hour. Totes worth it.

Have you seen KOL live? A-maz-ing.



Click below for big O-inducing performances of Closer, Milk and Knocked Up. I warn you, these performances are hot, do not watch these at work unless you have a private bathroom in which to 'relieve' yourself immediately after viewing.


Closer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mIHB2JnY4

Milk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLQu6uWvdSw&feature=related

Knocked Up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fICtrVyApBY&feature=related

Caleb's voice should seriously be rated NC-17 because unlike Trix, that shit ain't for kids.


We don't have to wait until the MTV Movie Awards on May 31st for the Followill boys to invade our TVs. KOL is on The Tonight Show tonight, Friday, May 15th. Set your PVRs, bitches! And while you're doing that, set one for the Today show on July 31st because the boys will be performing as part of the summer concert series. Hot.

Undercover MotherLover

It's Mr. JT is all up under them shades, toque and sweatshirt walking the streets of NYC. Even in this Unabomber-inspired ensemble, he could still be the syrup, I could be his waffle. Straight up! I wanna break it off, show him how much he really means.....

It's Thursday and I'm still obsessed with MotherLover. Has it rocked your world like it has mine? I can't get the song out of my head, it's constantly playing on a loop in my tiny, little brain.

Apparently it was JT's idea to revisit the dudes from Dick in a Box. I'm not gonna lie, when they walked out of the Brooklyn Detention Centre, I experienced what could only be described as an emotional roller coaster. I was elated at first but my elation quickly turned to fear, fear that they would not be able to capture the magic, the wonder, the beauty of Dick in a Box...


For you see, Dick in a Box revolutionized my world. I still remember when I saw it for the first time, on a cold Sunday's morn in December, just days before Christmas. I had a Christmas party the night before, made a turkey dinner and all the trimmings for 25 people which then turned into a dance party which ended with me passing out in a vodka haze, wrapped in my former father-in-law's full-length fur coat. It happens.

Because my love, JT was hosting SNL, I knew to record the fuck outta that shit. After waking from my vodka nap on that Sunday morning, I fired up the PVR and much like a child eagerly approaches a batch of presents under the tree, I eagerly anticipated the sexy comedy delights that surely awaited me. Little did I know that my world was about to change on that Sunday morning. That's when Dick in Box entered my world, and frankly, my heart.

Thankfully, whatever fear I had that JT and Samberg would not be able to duplicate the genuis of DIAB was washed away with the following sentence "I'm a motherlover, you're a motherlover, we should fuck each other's mothers, fuck each other's moms." As soon as I heard that, I knew it was all going to be okay.

Click below to relive the magic and the glory of MotherLover. Mucho gracias to Linda for hooking my ass up with a link that hasn't been yanked down yet by the Nazi Broadcasting Corporation commonly known as NBC.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x98xd2_justin-timberlake-m

And click here to relive how it all began, the wonder, the majesty, the artistry of Dick in a Box.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg&feature=PlayList&p=18FABBFC3CEB4494&index=0&playnext=1

JT Comes Back to Motherlovin' SNL!

Mista JT was back on SNL last night and like the two previous times he hosted, homeboy brought his A game.  Right from the song and dance opening number (during which he sat in the lap of some hot guy in a plaid shirt) Justin was on fire! I think I jizzed in my pants about five times.

 One time was during the immigrant dreams sketch in which an Irish (gah!) Cornelius Timberlake predicts his great great grandson will become a famous singer and date a pop star "publicly they'll claim to be virgins but privately - he hit it."  Snerk.

I love talkin' bout issues, real important issues like chest hair and crazy cool medallions so the return of the Barry Gibb Talk Show was definitely jizzworthy. As was Plasticville "my mediocre face." 

But absolutely the most jizz-in-pantsworthy moment of the show came when the Dick in a Box guys reunited for Mother Lover featuring the MILFness of Patricia Clarkson and Susan Sarandon. 

"I'm a mother lover, you're a mother lover, we should fuck each other's mothers, fuck each other's moms." Amazing.

"Every Mothers Day needs a mothers night. If doin' it is wrong, I don't wanna be right."

"Sho nuff. My mama likes bubble baths and chamomile. Straight up. Give it to my mom d-d-d-doggy-style."

"And when I'm in your mutha, I'll never use a rubber."

Hahahaha. Sick.

I would put a link to the Mother Lover video but the motherlovin' Gestapo that is Nazi Broadcasting Corporation has pulled that shit off youtube and even if I found one, by the time you clicked on that shit the Nazis would have pounced. 

Tux Sex Magic

It's no surprise Justin looks like hot formal sex in a tux (I'm not sure what 'formal sex' would entail, maybe some 'sirs' and 'madams' and perhaps a curtsy at the end?) What is surprising is that Jessica Bile doesn't look too bad, we've definitely seen her in much worse (Oscars, anyone?) at least she doesn't look like she's going out for lobster (which she will crush with her bare hands)

Don't forget, JT hosting SNL this Saturday!

Nice Stroke

Here's Mr. JT knocking his balls around at Chelsea Piers in NYC yesterday.

Then below last night all suited up at some kind of Cartier anniversary event I'm too lazy to look up. Dayum! This dude knows how to rock a body and a suit.


Hello Professor Timberlake, is there anything I could do to convince you do turn that C+ into an A? Anything?

Bada ba ba ba I'm NOT Lovin' It

For like, five hot minutes this week there was talk that my love, JT had finally broken free from the shehulk clutches of Jessica Bile. And those five minutes, much like my boy Blue, were GLORIOUS.

Then these photos emerged from Tuesday night's Lakers game and shot that all to hell. Cry me a river, indeed..

The Hills Are Alive with Nasty Denim and Flesh Beards

Here's useless twats Heidi and Spencer out and about in LA. Apparently these famewhores are getting married this weekend. I can't pretend to care. What's really on my mind is deciding what's nastier, Spencer's flesh-toned beard or Heidi's denim one piece? A tossup indeed.

When I first laid eyes on Heidi's ensemble, I immediately thought of this denim atrocity from yesteryear...


Christ, it still pains me to look at this mess, even all these years later. What in Levis factory vomit hell was he thinking? This reminds me of why I used to have such an intense hate on for JT, before I was justified and lovestoned. I must look away now, the tears are starting to come and if they start, they won't stop. Let's try and forget this heinous monstrosity by bleaching out our eyes with this....


Aah. Much better. Speaking of JT, the new reality show he exec produced premieres on MTV tonight. It's called On The Phone and no, it doesn't feature Russell Crowe throwing phones at hotel clerks for money, unfortch. Instead it features contestants getting a call on their cell offering the chance to participate in crazy ass antics for a 50 thousand dollar prize. I'd do it. Times are tough, I'd do anything for money. But that's another story for another day. Click below for a hot and bespectabled JT offering up a quick and dirty explanation of On the Phone;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B19Kd_6Mx0

And don't forget JT is hosting SNL for a third time on May 9th. Set your PVRs and get ready to jizz.in.your.pants. As I mentioned before, Ciara is the musical guest so you know she and JT are going to perform Love Sex Magic. Click below for the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTYT-SiZeFo

Live from New York it's Justin Timberlake!

File this under: Things That Make Me Jizz.In.My.Pants Under the subheading of: Fuck Yeah!

Set the PVR girls and gays cause Justin Timberlake is hosting Saturday Night Live for a third time on May 9th. Yesssss!



I realize not everyone shares my Billy Mumphry-like unbridled enthusiasm for JT's pansy ass pop jams but you have to admit the boy fucking brings it when he's hosting SNL. The musical guest on May 9th is Ciara so obvi JT will join her on Love Sex Magic. Hot.



To commemorate this awesome news, let's jump in the DeLorean and take a look back at great JT moments in SNL history, shall we? I'd post clips but NBC is like the fucking Gestapo with this shit so we'll have to settle for images...

As payback for punking his ass by making him think the taxman had cometh to seize all of his shit (Classic episode of Punk'd. Classic) JT spoofed Ashton Kutcher in this sketch on his first SNL appearance. It was abso hilar. "I'm awesome!" Yes you are JT, yes you are.


Bring it on down to Omletteville!


Talkin' it up! On the Barry Gibb talk show! Talkin' bout chest hair, talkin' bout crazy, cool medallions!


Soup there it is! Give it on up to Homelessville!



"We're the dancers." JT, Samberg and Paul Rudd all in one skit? The sound you heard that night was my lady parts exploding in delight.


Even a quick cameo as the janitor in this Lonely Island vid was enough to make me jizz in my pants. The way he's working that mop got me bothered and hot.


"Cause I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' and I got just the one." Dick in a box. The classic of all classics. This changed my life.

So, That Explains It

So JT was on Oprah on Friday, all sexy and bespectacled....



Me likey!

Me also likey how he shot down rumours he and Jessica Bile are engaged. Word is, in reality, he's actually looking for an escape hatch outta that relationship. No doubt, Bile's shehulk arms will make this a difficult endeavour for our intrepid Timberlake.

Mr. JT also explained that Jessica Bile is like a "muse" to him. I'd been wondering why his ass has not been in the studio working on the followup to 2006's FutureSexLoveSounds and apparently I've just Matlocked the reason. He needs to unload that trick and start making some music in between popping up on Saturday Night Live and designing clothes.

Speaking of, JT also said Jessica is a muse for the designers at his clothing label, William Rast. Je ne comprends pas. Colour me confused, I've said it before and I'll say it again; how does someone as fashion forward as JT, whom GQ magazine picked as the most stylish man, date someone responsible for such atrocities as these...




Anyway, enough of that shit.

Click below for some behind-the-scenes action from Oprah featuring JT talkin' about why golf is like sex for him. I hate golf, I need to be at LEAST five vodkas in for me to even entertain the idea of playing golf, it's just so frustrating!!! But for JT, I'd swing a club or two. I tried to make that sound like a euphemism for something sexy but it's Monday morning and I am, le tired.

http://www.oprah.com/media/20090327_sas_justin-timberlake-video

Daily Male: Justin Timberlake

It's been a bitch of a week. When you roll out of bed Monday morning on three hours sleep with a hangover, it pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the week, ya know?

So I'm going to treat myself with today's Daily Male - Justin Timberlake.

JT is on Oprah today. I won't catch it but I know my friend Scotty is all over it, he's taping it and perhaps we will watch that shit together on Sunday night. A better way to ease into the new week than the pounding back of vodka sodas and spanking of some hockey player of last Sunday night.

I've already said too much, let's get to the eye candy, shall we? Indeed.

Aaaah it was right around the time of this 2003 Rolling Stone cover that I was justified and stopped hating JT. I'll never forget the day. It was a Wednesday.



Shortly after my justification I had the good fortune to see JT and the Stones at that SARS benefit concert. Those halcyon days of SARS were awesome - concerts, cheaper flights. BRING BACK SARS!!

I like what's going on below here almost enough to ignore the fact that these are THE fugliest jean shorts I've ever had the mispleasure on which to lay my eyes.

Have you seen the Ciara video for Love Sex Magic featuring Justin? Check it out below. Caliente!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTYT-SiZeFo