Remember back in high school when your guidance counselor attempted to assist you in determining what would be a suitable and satisfying career path for you? I feel more than a little ripped off that 'high class call girl' was never presented to me as a viable and lucrative option. Fuck you, Mrs. Kramer! Because if this week's issue of In Touch Weekly is to be believed, it is pretty much the best job. Of all time. Ever. This trick named Irma Nici says she was paid ten thousand dollars a night to lie down with David Beckham. Let me say this again because if you're like me, it didn't quite register the first time. David Beckham paid her ten thousand dollars to have sexy times with him. I know the sound I just heard was your mind being blown (and apparently, David Beckham being blown by a hooker)
Apparently they got together five times over the course of 2007 (that's 50 thousand mother fucking dollars for you mathletes keeping track) and each time he threw her a big bag of money to do what the vast majority of girls and gays would crawl across broken glass to do for free. Does anyone else find it interesting that whenever Davy boy has allegedly stepped out on his skeletal wifey that it's with a women with some actual meat on her bones? I mean this trick is alright I guess but she kinda looks like a Chola Jenny McCarthy. Whatevs.
Anyway, there you have it. Apparently if you're even just marginally attractive, a super hot sports superstar will pay you tens of thousands of dollars to stick it to you. David's likely pretty pissed right now though because, as we all know, when a dude hires a trick, he's not necessarily paying for the sex, he's paying her to fuck off after and to not talk about it. Bitch just broke the first rule of whore club. Call me David, I can keep a secret.
On a related note, I'm getting Mrs. Kramer back on the phone. A career change is certainly in order for me.
