Piven and Pain

Here's Jeremy Piven out and about recently in London, England. Wonder if he's going out for sushi?

Remember he backed out of a Broadway play in which he was starring claiming he was suffering from mercury poisoning due to his over-consumption of sushi? That story only makes me love the Piv even more. I'm going to try that excuse some time. I'm going out for sushi tomorrow night and I'm going to eat Piven levels of that shit. Partly because I love sushi more than I love most people and also because sushi is nice and soft and my mouth is fucked right now. I need a root canal. Fuck! I spent three hours today having dentists reefing on my tooth. It was not enjoyable. I blame my filthy mouth for this shit!

Fuck Shit Cock Balls!!!!

Has anyone else had a root canal? Am I in for a world of pain? Let me know!

Daily Male: Jeremy Piven

I've been watching the shit out of old episodes of Entourage online. I love this show. Between my love of this show, Old School and The Hangover, I'm pretty sure I'm actually a 21-year-old dude inside a 31-year-old woman's body. Actually, if there was a 21-year-old dude inside this 31-year-old woman's body there would be much more of a spring in my step if you're picking up what I'm putting down. But I digress, back to Entourage. Obvie, Vince brings some eye candy but my love is all for Ari. I love the way he walks and talks on his celly. He means business! Also, Jeremy Piven - any fool who loves and eats sushi so much that he uses the overconsumption of said sushi as an excuse to back out of a play is okay in my books. My books are colourful and pop-up, y'all. So let's hug out bitch and make Jeremy Piven today's Daily Male.

Fresca Fizzes About Raw Deal on Sushi Date With Ari Gold

Some broad is mouthing off to Steppin' Out magazine about what she calls her worst.date.ever - with Jeremy Piven.



Simona Fusco (below) complains that the Piv brought his douche game on a recent sushi date. First of all, what is Jeremy "I dropped out of my Broadway play because of sushi-induced mercury poisoning" doing going out for sushi? Oh yeah, he's full of shit. And apparently, sushi.



Anyway, Fusco (I really want to say Fresca) has this to say about the Piv, “he thinks he’s all that. I read an article yesterday that he left a sushi restaurant waiter a photograph of himself as a tip." Wow. Jeremy really does go out for sushi a lot. I'm feeling this. If this recession wasn't raping every orafus of my body, I would eat sushi for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Colin Farrell-style. Wait, bad example.

Anyway, Fresca continues, “He took me out but he didn’t try to win my heart. He just tried to get me very tipsy on sake. He just kept refilling the sake. I like to have my sake, but he was only interested in sex." Uhm, hon, why are you surprised? Jeremy Piven oozes douche. He's Ari Gold so I'd still hit it but seriously girl, what were you expecting? Fresca says the date didn't end well, "he got very annoyed when he realized he wasn’t getting what he wanted. He was very upset. He just drove me home and didn’t say a word, which wasn’t really different from dinner. He was angry. He wouldn’t even open the door for me. I had to open the door myself."


This date doesn't sound too horrible in the grand scheme of life.I mean he didn't go Chris Brown on your ass or anything. If Jeremy Piven wanted to take me out for sushi and ply my ass with sake, I can't say I'd turn that shit down, especially in these harsh economic times.



Sushi porn!

I was out for sushi with a dude recently. First date. We met at a club over vodka sodas (me) and beer (him) and he had told me he liked sushi. Awesome, I thought. So like, a week and a half later, we're at the restaurant and he has no idea what to order. "Order for me," he says. What the FUCK? Fo reals? I'd rather die then let someone else decide my food. Especially sushi. This is serious business. I don't fuck around. Plus, first dates are enough pressure, I don't need the added stress of being responsible for picking someone else's dinner, too. What if he didn't like what I picked? What if he thought it was gross? Dude was NOT about to mack on my food, that's for sure. Sorry, you're stuck with yours, shoulda manned up! In all honesty, I found this to be somewhat of a ladybone killer. Order for me? Really? If he's this passive in a restaurant, what's this dude going to be like in...other places? This is did not bode well. We had three more dates before it fizzled, he was a nice enough dude but I believe the fate was sealed with those three little words "order for me."

Sigh. I need to date Jeremy Piven, don't I?