Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Porn. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I Fucking Dare Tom Cruise to Call Jon Hamm 'Glib'


The man manly manliness that is Jon Hamm recently revealed to the UK mag, The Observer that he struggled in the past with chronic depression. If I was male and I looked like Jon Hamm, simply looking in the mirror would be enough to snap me out of any funk but alas, it seems it was a little more complicated than that. Hamm lost his father when he was 20-years-old, which would be devastating enough on its own but coupled with the fact that his mother had already died when Jon was just 10 and yeah, I guess that really fucking sucks.

Jon says he was able to overcome with the help of anti-depressants (cue Tom Cruise rushing to the Mad Men set with soapbox in hand in 3..2...) Of anti-depressants Jon says "You can change your brain chemistry enough to think: 'I want to get up in the morning; I don't want to sleep until four in the afternoon. I want to get up and ... go to work and ...' Reset the auto-meter, kick-start the engine!" Tom Cruise would recommend exercise instead of pills but I'm not sure if a few jumping jacks and a spin class are gonna assist in getting over the fact that, you know, your parents are fucking dead. I'd love to see Tommy Boy call Jon Hamm glib to his face. Of course he'd literally have to stand on that soapbox to be face-to-face with Jon since Mr. Hamm is about a foot taller than the elvish Tom (I ain't hatin' I dig short dudes)

In the same article Jon talks about his early days, working as a set dresser on soft core porn films. I'm gonna leave it at that. I need to be alone while images of Jon Hamm and porn penetrate my thoughts. Speaking of penetration, what I wouldn't give to have this man penetrate me.....



Monday, April 13, 2009

WON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET?!



When you're contemplating ordering a fucking Sesame Street DVD simply because he's featured in it, you know your decade-long crush on Paul Rudd has officially reached a ruddiculous level. See what I did there? Clever, I know.



Anyway, The Rudd appears in this Sesame Street DVD which is all about being green and saving the environment or some shit.



Paul Rudd is inside a globe. I'm jealous of that globe. 

Below is a short clip from the DVD and I gotta say, I feel mighty conflicted about being so turned on by Sesame Street. It's ruined my childhood memories. Seriously. The :15 mark was a particular lady bone inducer for me. Then those damn muppets kick in and shit gets weird. Fuck my childhood memories, this is some sexy shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdx7dWu87Vc&feature=channel

Turning Sesame Street into porn. That is the power of Paul Rudd.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Long Island Holita




Remember Amy Fisher? She's that crazy Long Island skank who was banging that bag of douche, Joey Buttafuco and then straight up shot his poor wife in the face. Well since getting out of jail Amy has been making significant contributions to society. In addition to having three kids, Amy is a porn star. I guess it's her turn to take a shot to the face? Her kids are so lucky! Not only is mom a convicted felon but she fucks on film! Terrific. Now Amy is taking her busted vageen on the road - she's traveling the US as a high-priced stripper. Uhm, high-priced? Her? Anyway, AmFish recently told some porn site "I love to dance, and I'm an exhibitionist, I am going to take this road until my fans tell me, 'Dear, please put your clothes back on. You're too old.' "

Who the hell are these crazy people asking her to take her clothes off in the first place? Can everyone else see this trick and those ghetto nails, chola eyebrows and mall slut hair?

Below is Amy with her husband. Bitch definitely has a type.