Trick or Treat!

I'm not sure what Paul Rudd and his son were dressed as for Halloween. I just know that it was adorable. I'm not a huge fan of kids but I'd have one for Paul Rudd.

A Cup of Coop

Here's Bradley Cooper with a Starbucks. That makes two things in this photo that I want in my mouth.

Oh, Julia Roberts is there too. Apparently they're filming some move called Valentine's Day. Sounds like your standard rom com, or vom com as I call them because that's what the majority of romantic comedies make me want to do. Vom.

B-Coop and Julia have worked together before, they appeared on Broadway a few years back in a production of Three Days of Rain which also starred....Paul Rudd. I'm pretty sure I could not have handled that.

The Caesar for My MJ Hangover

I'm suffering from Michael Jackson hangover. 

It's much like a regular hangover, you wake up, your head aches, your body feels broken,  you want to throw up and you're wondering if you're straight trippin' or if  the events of the day before really actually happened. Unfortunately, they did. But instead of waking up next to a handsome stranger whose name you're frantically trying to remember, with an MJ hangover, you wake up alone and lonely. The only thing keeping you company is the sad, empty realization that yes, Michael Jackson is dead and when you acknowledge that, you just want to close your eyes and fall back asleep, hoping to wake up from this most heinous of nightmares. You also want a tall, cold Caesar because fuck it if that miracle beverage doesn't help you get over the ten thousand drinks you consumed the night before.

On this most difficult of mornings, Paul Rudd is the Caesar for my MJ Hangover....

Could he be any more adorable?

These are recent pictures of The Rudd and The Reese on set of their upcoming movie, a James L. Brooks film that is untitled at present. Might I suggest Rainbows, Unicorns and a Box of Purring Kittens as the title? Because all those things are what immediately spring to mind when I think of Paul Rudd. Life is just better with Paul Rudd in it. When you're drowning in an ocean of shit, Paul Rudd is the lifeline that keeps you from going under. Paul Rudd is the chicken soup when you're sick with the flu, the warm fireplace on a cold winter's night. 

Because an MJ Hangover is one of great intensity, I've included my absolute most favourite Paul Rudd picture of all time below. If there was ever a day I needed this, it is today. 

Could you imagine waking up to this? I would never get out of bed. Ever. Shit, I didn't wake up to this today but I still might not get out of bed. That's a lie, my pool is calling and those white wine spritzers aren't going to drink themselves.

Thank you, Paul Rudd for making today suck just a little less.

The MTV Movie Awards Could Be Ruddiculously Awesome

The MTV Awards, both music video and movie, aren't what they used to be. At all. But I'll be tuning into the movie awards on May 31st for three reasons;

1. The Jewy hotness and comedy stylings of Andy Samberg is hosting. LIKE A BOSS!

2. Jason Segel and his flaccid peen are nominated for Best WTF Moment.


3. Paul Rudd is nominated for best kiss for I Love You, Man.

These three ingredients could stop the show from being botched abortion it's become over the years. Remember when Chris Rock used to host? That was some funny shit.

Speaking of funny shit, click below for one of my favourite MTV Movie Award moments, Jim Carrey accepting an award in disguise, proclaiming there to be a lot of 'fine looking pussy in the room tonight' and demanding MTV play more Foghat. Haha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWqVIzH7D3Q

Too Cute.

I'm not what you'd call a maternal woman. My motherly instincts lay somewhere between those of Andrea Yates and Susan Smith. That said, I feel weird things happening in my heart when I see this;



And this;



I don't like it. Make it stop!!!!

Sidenote: I would totally pull Paul Rudd's hair like that. But in an entirely different scenario.

WON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREET?!

When you're contemplating ordering a fucking Sesame Street DVD simply because he's featured in it, you know your decade-long crush on Paul Rudd has officially reached a ruddiculous level. See what I did there? Clever, I know.



Anyway, The Rudd appears in this Sesame Street DVD which is all about being green and saving the environment or some shit.



Paul Rudd is inside a globe. I'm jealous of that globe. 

I Have No Good Reason For Posting This...

Here's my man friend Jason Segel and my love, Paul Rudd at the London premiere of I Love You, Man.

Holy shit! Jason is tall! THIS IS SOME MY GIANT SHIT!!! Apparently he's six foot four. I'm barely three apples tall so I would probably only come up to his waist, which I suppose could be beneficial for certain activities.

Paul Rudd is five foot nine which, to me, is Goldilocks. Just right.

I'm totes magotes seeing I Love You, Man this weekend. Again.
Slappin' da bass!!

Happy Birthday, Man

Four decades ago, the skies opened up and an angel enveloped in a heart-shaped cloud made of cotton candy slid down a beautiful rainbow from the heavens and landed here on Earth to make our crazy world a more awesome place in which to live. That angel is Paul Rudd and today is his 40th birthday.

To commemorate the anniversary of his expulsion from his mother's womb, feast your eyes upon this collection of Paul Rudd porn.

This bitch below is giving my man the eye. Back off bitch, I've got a broken beer bottle with your name on it! Make that a broken martini glass. Classier.




The charge: Being too awesome
The verdict: Guilty as motherfuckin' charged!



Mind.Exploding.Cannot.Compute.....

James. James Bond....







I'm not exactly what you would call 'maternal' but these photos of The Rudd with his little boy made my uterus tingle. Perhaps I am not dead inside after all? (sidenote: this images are almost cute enough to make me forget the fact that Paul is abusing his child by outfitting him in the most evil footwear known to man, Crocs. Almost)




Ahhh....this day will be played out in my mind on repeat until the end of time, I will speak of it on my death bed -meeting Paul Rudd at Sundance and sniffing his beard. I wish 'sniffing his beard' was a euphemism for some kind of filthy and depraved sex act but alas, it is not. Alex, remember this; "I'm fucking Paul Rudd and you're fucking watching Park fucking City fucking Television." Drops mic.? Awesome.



The Rudd demonstrating his rap skillz.... His rap name would be MC Awesome. Cause he is.



And of course, my favourite Paul Rudd picture of them all, this is what I wake up to in my mind every.single.morning.

Peekaboo I See You!

Here's my live-in lover Paul Rudd leaving LA's Il Sole restaurant on Monday night, all smiles after his movie scored the number two spot at the weekend box office.

Look at this face! How can you not love this face? I could be in the middle of a ragestorm, throwing shit, dropping F and C bombs all over the fucking place, on the cusp of going completely and totally Hulk and if I saw this face, music would start playing, the clouds would open up and the sun would shine down on me in a beam of heavenly light, bunnies and deer and other woodland creatures would gather around me and we'd all hold hands and paws and sing a rousing and inspirational rendition of Kumbaya.

I Love You, Movie

Did you see I Love You, Man this past weekend? Did you love it? A true bromantic comedy (bromcom) How adorable was The Rudd? Sooo painfully, dorkily awkward and loveable! Slappin' the bass! Totes Magotes! Jobin! Latres on the menges! I went fucking Grinch in the theatre which is to say my cold, black heart grew three sizes watching it. Now I understand how Jack Nicholson felt in As Good as it Gets, Paul Rudd makes me want to be a better woman. I mean, I won't do it but he makes me want to anyway.

I Love You, Man is the number two movie in North America, behind Knowing starring Nicolas Cage (sidenote; who the fuck dropped their benjamins on that shit? Come on people, we're in a recession!) Anyway, I Love You, Man's performance at the box office means Paul Rudd is finally a movie star after years of playing sidekicks and second bananas. I'm conflicted about this development because, as a devoted decade-long Rudd enthusiast, I feel like I'm losing him and will now have to share him with the world. I'm not ready to let go, selfishly I want to keep him all to myself. Yes, I have put way too much time into thinking about Paul Rudd, his career and my love for him.

If you've not yet been converted by Paul Rudd, watch this fascinating, layered and insightful interview with him and Jason Segel where they discuss bromance, farts and tight ass holes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvNgq-UiH_8&eurl=http://videogum.com/archives/interviews/paul-rudd-and-jason-segal-are_059251.html

I think this post is a good excuse to use this picture again, yes? Why, hello there!

Why Hello!

In their latest issue, Entertainment Weekly calls Paul Rudd The Most Lovable Movie Star on the Planet. It's good to see my imaginary lover getting his due. I don't understand why The Rudd is not more famous. I've been in hardcore love with his ass since 1998's The Object of My Affection. Of course he caught my eye in Clueless but Object of My Affection is where he made my lady parts tingle. He plays a gay man in that movie. That says more about me than it does about him. Trust me.

Check out this ecard my friend Krista sent me this morning. Clearly I crossed this line a long time ago.

I Love You, Men

Be still my cold, black heart. Several of my crushes gathered together at the I Love You, Man premiere in LA the other night. I'm quite sure my head would have exploded had I been there.

First up; Jason Bateman. All rough and tumble in a beard;

"Where’s Dirty Blonde?” “Oh, she’s just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth, and they’re dipping each other in...”Oh, you didn’t get any body chocolate?


Andy Samberg all dressed up. Is he headed to the Space Olympics?


"You're the best in the world....brace yourself cause there's no gravity. You're in the motherfucking Space Olympics!"

I'm not what you'd call an overly domestic woman but Paul Rudd's smile makes me want to bake cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. Then I'd put the cookies in decorative baskets adorned with a big red bow and jauntily skip through the neighbourhood in my 1950s-style poodle hoop skirt with chrinolin and I'd pass around cookies to my neighbours before coming home where Paul is waiting on our porch with a cool glass of lemonade.

The photo agency caption for this photo was clearly mistaken as it said "Paul Rudd and wife"


Look at this face! I gotta go, I've got cookies to bake!

Back Off Bitches, He's Spoken For!

This is my man friend Jason Segel keeping those horny bitches at bay, away from my imaginary live-in love Paul Rudd at a premiere for their movie I Love You, Man.

He's a good man friend, that Jason. I'll have to thank him during our imaginary games night this weekend.

Just.Stop.

I refuse to join Twitter. It's bad enough I'm on Facebook, I don't need this Twitter shit in my life, too. Plus, no offense, but I don't need to know what you're doing, thinking, eating, watching, reading every fucking minute of every fucking day, ya know? Twitter must be like the fucking holy land for all those bastards who feel the need to update their Facebook statuses every time they take a fucking shit. Seriously people, if you're going to update every five fucking minutes, can you at least try to make it funny or interesting or informative? Something? Anything? Anyway, someone else who needs to keep his ass the fuck off Twitter is John Mayer...



Apparently John Mayer, fresh off yet another breakup with Jennifer Aniston, recently posted this on Twitter; "This heart didn't come with instructions." 

Fucking.Barf. 

My friend Tara can't understand why I hate John Mayer. Tara, it's shit like this that makes me want to punch John Mayer in his douche face. He's a great guitar player people tell me. Great, play the guitar but shut the fuck up cause when John Mayer opens his mouth, douche just falls out. Apparently when he twitters too (or tweats, whatever, don't care)

Anyway, speaking of Twitter, you know who else is NOT on Twitter? Paul Rudd....


 My imaginary lover recently told E! "I'm afraid of the Internet. I'm too old to tweet. So I don't tweet, I twat." 

LOVE him.

The Rudd will be on the Ellen Degeneres Show this Friday (thanks to Amanda for the heads up!) I'll be watching. Ladybone in the morning!