Showing posts with label Imaginary Lovers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Imaginary Lovers. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Back Off Bitches, He's Spoken For!



This is my man friend Jason Segel keeping those horny bitches at bay, away from my imaginary live-in love Paul Rudd at a premiere for their movie I Love You, Man.

He's a good man friend, that Jason. I'll have to thank him during our imaginary games night this weekend.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I Bet Their Sex is On Fire

This is Kings of Leon frontman Caleb Followill and his model (of course) girlfriend Lily Aldridge out and about today in Sydney, Australia.

I would sell my family, one of my kidneys as well as what little is left of my soul for one hot night with Caleb. Caleb Followill is walking sex. And it has very little to do with his appearance (he's a hot as fuck NOW, but it wasn't always this way, he used to sport a middle part and at one point, mini manbangs, yes mini manbangs) No, Caleb's sex appeal has everything to do with that voice of his. He's got the horniest voice ever. It's an aphrodisiac, a soundtrack for sex. Hearing Caleb sing the phone book would be enough to send me over the edge. Shit, I'm an atheist (or realist as I like to call it) but if Caleb read me the bible, I'm pretty sure I'd be a believer, at the very least I'd be calling out the name of God over and over again. I know I'm not alone in this, my friend Bev knows exactly what I'm talking as we have discussed this over red wine.




Kings of Leon have released four full-length albums which should really just be called Songs For Sexin' Volumes 1 - 4. If you're unfamiliar with KOL and you're looking for a sex playlist (and I'm not talking love-making slow jamz, I'm talking hot, dirty sex) download the songs below;

Closer
On Call
I Want You
Crawl
Milk
Soft
Red Morning Light
Taper Jean Girl
Slow Night, So Long
Arizona
Trani
My Party
Holy Roller Novocaine
Knocked Up
and of course....
Sex on Fire


Below are photos of Caleb from days of yore. With that voice of his, I'd still hit that shit, middle part, mini manbangs and all.


Thursday, March 12, 2009

Daily Male: Jason Segel

Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? Have you seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Will you be seeing I Love You, Man when it comes out on March 20th? If answered no to two out of these three questions, we simply cannot be friends. I'm sure you're a nice person but let's just shake hands and go our seperate ways, yes?



I plan to watch the shit out of I Love You, Man, mainly because my imaginary live-in lover, Paul Rudd is in it but also because it also stars my imaginary manfriend Jason Segel.



Jason is adorable. He's not conventionally hot and I don't think I want to do the sex to him but my friend Robyn does. In fact in our heads, Paul and I live in a sweet ass apartment and across the hall are Robyn and Jason. We have frequent dinner parties. How can you not love Jason? He showed his flaccid peen in Forgetting Sarah Marshall! And how awesome was Dracula's Lament? For reals, yo. For these reasons and more, Jason Segel is today's Daily Male;






Click here to watch the ladybone EXPLOSION that was Jason and My Paul's appearance last night on The Hour;
http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/videos.html?id=1058936886

Click here for Dracula's Lament from Forgetting Sarah Marshall;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTQj1yEvlUY

And just because I can never see this too many times and because it is, in my head, what I wake up to every morning. Some Paul Rudd in the sheets action;

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I Love You, Paul Rudd




Here's my imaginary live-in lover, former Daily Male, and man whose beard I've sniffed, Paul Rudd at the premiere of I Love You, Man with my pretend platonic manfriend Jason Segal.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I am soooo seeing this shit!



I am so seeing this movie because I heart Jason Segel from How I Met Your Mother and it also features my love, Paul Rudd......



I have a mad crush on Paul Rudd. Major. But I don't just want to bang Paul Rudd (don't get me wrong, I totes do) but my love for P-Rudd goes beyond physical. I want to live with Paul Rudd, wake up to his face every morning, make sarcastic comments with him as we read the daily newspaper whilst feeding each other toast and jam. Later we'd go to the gym for an hour or two, hit Starbucks for two grande, half-sweet, non-fat, no-foam, extra-hot hazlenut lattes, then the organic food store, followed by taking in a late afternoon matinee after which we'd drive home, reliving our favourite parts of the movie and laughing our asses off. Then upon arriving home, we'd make ourselves a scrumptious dinner (spinach lasagne with whole wheat noodles and a light salad on the side) makeout in the kitchen and playfully whip each other with tea towels while our dinner cooked in the oven, then we'd laugh at how lame we are for doing the tea towel thing and finally, we'd enjoy our meal and wine over candlelight and laughter. The evening would conclude with us sipping flavoured hot chocolates in front of the fire, then retiring to the upstairs where we would make mad, passionate love for 74.5 minutes before falling asleep and doing it all over again tomorrow.
Le sigh....




Check out this photo from the current issue of Vanity Fair in which Paul, Jason, Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan reenact an old cover featuring my girlcrush, Scarlet Johansson, Keira Frightley and Tom Ford. The original is also below.