Daily (Fe)Male:Day After Pride Edition

Have you recovered from Pride, bitches? My feet still slightly ache from dancing my face off in shoes that can only be described as medieval torture devices. Seriously. In fact, if you googled imaged photos of detainees at Guantanamo Bay, I'm pretty sure you'd find these aforementioned shoes strapped to their feet. But they're pretty (the shoes, not the prisoners) and the DJ was playing a lot of MJ and JT so I had to go monk and block the pain. But like Cinderella, at 4am, it was pumpkin time and the pain came racing back in waves. Worth it, though. It was a fabulous night.

Anyway, at a party yesterday my friend Laura asked if I could put my thing down, flip it and reverse it, take a break from the peen and replace the Daily Male with a chick for the vagina enthusiasts up in this bitch. 

Wish granted. 

Rachel McAdams is the inaugural Daily Female. 

How amazing was Rachel in Mean Girls? Regina fucking George! My friends and I loved this movie too much. We made our own Mean Girls-inspired video and they gave me a Burn Book for my birthday. My friends and I are immature. And fetch. I'm still trying to make 'fetch' happen.

What? Coke Doesn't Provide Good Company?

Bag of bones Lindsay Lohan is in the latest issue of US Weekly, whining out of her spray tanned ass and crying cokey tears about her white trash breakup with peace sign flashing enthusiast, Samantha Ronson.



Lohan vomits to the magazine "I'm not a bad person and this is what happens...I was raised to treat people well, and I'm so tired of this drama." I know whenever I'm tired of the drama of my personal life, I like to cry to a national publication with millions of readers about said drama. Don't you? Whatever. 

Don't go all Justin Timberlake and cry this bitch a river just yet. Please know, she fucking loves it, lives for it. What else has she got going on? Bitch ain't making movies anymore.

Lindsay goes to moan about some party for Sam Ronson's sister this past weekend, a party from which her cokey ass was banned by security, calling it 'humiliating' and 'the worst night of her life.' Being kept out of a party was the worst night of her life? Were there cocaine-filled pinatas hanging from the ceiling? Lindsay says "I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie."

Speaking of, remember the awesomeness that was Mean Girls?


Interesting when you compare what's happened to the careers of Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams since, yes? Lohan was the big rising star back then while Rachel was an unknown. Now, while Lohan is hocking everything from leggings to spray tans in between rehab stays and DUI arrests, Rachel has kept her head down, nose clean and is making movies with the likes of Owen Wilson, Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law and Harrison Ford.

Pay attention kids; when you're marginally talented at best and are given a golden opportunity, one that others who are likely more talented and probably more deserving of would kill for, don't take a a big cokey diarrhea shit all over it. You might just end up in Hollywood's burn book.