Friday, October 9, 2009

Calgary Tiger Attempts to Speed Up Natural Selection


Two dudes in Calgary are charged with trespassing and epic levels of dumbassedness after the retards broke into the Calgary Zoo earlier this week and hopped the fence into the tiger pit. One of the tigers 'went tiger' on their asses and mauled them. One of the dudes, who are both 27, was more seriously injured than the other and may lose an arm. Good.

The guys, who must have been drunk or high off their stupid faces, jumped the fence in the early hours of Monday and called 911 after the tiger failed to roll out the welcome mat. See, this is why I'd never make it as a paramedic, if I raced my ass out to the scene only to find two retards who brought this shit on themselves, I'd say "Aw hell no. I left Starbucks for this shit?" and turn around and leave their asses behind. Natural selection should not be messed with.

Seriously did these fuckers think they were starring in The Hangover? The Calgary Zoo ain't Mike Tyson's estate, douchebags.

3 comments:

Shaner \m/ said...

Nothing worse than having your fresh Starbucks get cold in the ambulance while dealing with some losers/dirts/'tards/etc.

Dirty Blonde said...

I knew you'd respond Shaner!

Sometimes you must just want to walk away and say "I give up!" Kudos to doing your job even when some people don't deserve your efforts haha.

Shenannygans said...

Dudes must have thought they were Sigfreid and Roy, but instead have proven themselves masters, not of the impossible, but of dumbassedness. (SARMOTI!)