The Fuxtables?

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That's It! I'm Popping Out Nontuplets! Suck it, OctoMommy!

So by this point it's pretty safe to say it's been widely established that Nadya Suleman, walking clown car, single mother of newborn octuplets, 14 children in total, fired client of two publicists, resident of her parents' abode, resembler of Angelina Jolie, collector of food stamps, employee to nobody is nuttier than squirrel shit. Well bitch might be as crazy as the day is long but bitch might not be stupid as I originally thought cause bitch seems to be cashing in. Nadya has just purchased a 2500 square foot, half a million dollar home in California. Below is OctoHouse.



It's believed Human Clown Car, who has been whoring herself on everything from Dateline and Dr. Phil to US Weekly and Entertainment Tonight made the down payment with money earned from the aforementioned media whoring. And not only that, Nuttya has also scored her ass some free round-the-clock nanny service. Some agency called Angels in Waiting has agreed to provide OctoCrazy and her brood with 24-hour care which for 'normal' families, would come with a price tag of more
than 100 grand a month.

Okay, hold the motherfucking phone. So, after four years of school and nine years in my chosen field, I'm sitting here in my ridiculously overpriced shoebox apartment in downtown Toronto, getting raped by the economy without a courtesy reach-around, struggling to hold on to another overpriced shoebox condo back in Calgary that currently houses my misogynistic douchebag fuckface tenant when all I have to do to score a free half-million dollar home in sunny California is pop out a litter and then whore out that litter? And then some agency steps so I don't even have to actually care for my litter of paychecks myself? Fuck this shit. That's it, fuck OctoMommy, I'm going to become NonoMommy, I'm going to beat that bitch at her own game and pop out NINE at once. Oh wait......



Nevermind. My shoebox apartment isn't looking so bad after all. **Shudder**

Miley Virus Publishes a Book. My Head Explodes.

Miley Virus with her new autobiography, Miles to Go (barf)

A 16-year-old with an autobiography. Yep.

Just get it over with quickly. Shoot me right between the eyes.

Just Kill Me Now

Paris Hilton

Isn't it ever so comforting to know that these times of economic strife and uncertainty during which many of us fear losing our jobs (that is if we haven't done so already) this useless cum dumpster with no discernible skills or talent still has the cash to drive around town in this Barbie/Pepto Bismal-inspired custom-made Bentley?

Grab the canned goods and head to the basement my friends, for the end is surely nigh.