Showing posts with label Jonas Brothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jonas Brothers. Show all posts

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Spotted: Another Jonas Brother?

Uhm...are the Jonas Brothers like the Baldwin Brothers? Just when you think you've seen them all, along comes another one, only less talented and not as good-looking as the one before?

Wait, what? This is Gossip Girl's insufferable Dan Humphrey? My bad. Buddy? I know what you're trying to do here, it ain't workin' When it comes to this look you need to do what OctoMom should have done and abort. Or better - just not attempted this fuckery in the first place.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I Don't Get It


Here's manbangs, or rather, boybangs enthusiast (and I probably don't just mean his hair) Zac Efron with the virginal Jonas Brothers. I'm sure a thousand tween girls and gays jizzed in their panties and manties at mere sight of this but I just don't get it. They do nothing for me. Not a single one of them. And it's not just because they're crazy young. I don't mind young. I'd hit Bristol Palin's 19-year-old baby daddy Levi Johnston pretty hard.

Young has its privileges and its benefits. I briefly enjoyed said privileges and benefits last summer until a move across the country (mine) cut our fun short. Boo hoo. Oh well, summer is coming once again and a whole new class will be graduating. THIS IS SOME THE GRADUATE SHIT!! 

Anyway, these guys do nothing for my lady bits. That one Jonai (who I think might be Nick but I'm not sure and I'm proud of the fact that I'm not sure) is sporting some major 80s mom hair while Zac Efron is just way too precious for me. He looks like the kind of guy who spends an hour carefully attending to his hair, styling it in a way that makes it look like didn't spend any time on it at all. I don't like a guy with more product in his hair than me. Plus, Zac doesn't look like he's capable of a real throw down. Sometimes a girl needs a good throw down .

Now, Levi Johnston on the other hand...


...this hot dumbass looks like he could take care of some business. 

Friday, March 20, 2009

Making Asian Eyes is the New DUI

Getting busted for a DUI is so totally last year. The latest in young Hollywood douchebaggery is making fun of Asians. Keep up people!


This is apparently proud virgin Joe Jonas pulling a Miley Cyrus and making Asian eyes. As a faux Asian woman I'm somewhat offended. But I'm actually more offended by this zebra shirt he's wearing. If the Asians are going to call for some kind of JoBro boycott, I'm pretty sure the zebras should as well.

Nice purity ring Joe. It's easy to abstain from pussy when you have no interest in it, yes? Oh, you're not gay? Uhm this shirt begs to differ.