Pete Wentz LOLing Over Breakup Rumours

Pocket Rocker Pete Wentz is denying claims his marriage to Ashlee Simpson is in the toilet. Pocket Pete told some reporter at the Kids Choice Awards "I laugh at all of that stuff. ... It's just not true." Phew! Imagine the custody battle that would have ensued? It would have been a battle royale not seen since the likes of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Except these two would not be brawling over their baby, the unfortunately-named Bronx Mowgli, they would be cage-fighting over custody of the flat iron.

Ashlee and Pocket Pete recently made out on stage at the MTV Australia awards and Pete told the crowd "sorry, we haven't seen each other in a while....we're going to go and find some quiet time and fornicate somewhere."

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go bathe in bleach. Between that imagery and the ShamWow hooker beatdown story, I feel very, very dirty. And not in the good way.

Nevermind

What I said below about how I might have to start watcing CSI? Yeah. Scratch that shit...

From Entertainment Weekly:

Sources confirm to me exclusively that ubiquitous real-life couple Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Pete Wentz just closed a deal to guest star on CSI. A show spokesperson declined to comment, but I'm told the Wentz' will not be playing themselves in the episode, which is slated to air on March 18. Rather, they will be playing Bonnie and Clyde wannabes.



Barf. Obviously, with these two douches on board the episode will revolve around some kind of heist involving flat irons and eye liner. Or perhaps a murder at the Summer's Eve factory.