Pocket Rocker Pete Wentz is denying claims his marriage to Ashlee Simpson is in the toilet. Pocket Pete told some reporter at the Kids Choice Awards "I laugh at all of that stuff. ... It's just not true." Phew! Imagine the custody battle that would have ensued? It would have been a battle royale not seen since the likes of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. Except these two would not be brawling over their baby, the unfortunately-named Bronx Mowgli, they would be cage-fighting over custody of the flat iron.
Ashlee and Pocket Pete recently made out on stage at the MTV Australia awards and Pete told the crowd "sorry, we haven't seen each other in a while....we're going to go and find some quiet time and fornicate somewhere."
Now if you'll excuse me, I must go bathe in bleach. Between that imagery and the ShamWow hooker beatdown story, I feel very, very dirty. And not in the good way.
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