Monday, March 2, 2009

Crap Imitating Crap Imitating Crap

Not that we needed it, but here is more evidence the Apocalypse is nigh. If your canned goods and candles aren't already assembled in a box in the basement, I suggest you get your ass on that shit post haste!



So Lauren Conrad, that trick from The Hills who, from as far as I can tell in my limited experience with The Hills (I love myself too much to expose myself to that shit) is basically famous for being young, rich, living in L.A. and starring on a bullshit reality show, is releasing a novel. And you'll never, ever guess what it's about! L.A. Candy (barf) tells the story of a 19-year-old girl who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of her own reality show. Wow, that is some originality right there!



What's even more sick is this will be Lauren's first of three books. Yes, bitch landed a three-book deal with HarperCollins. That sound you just heard was all the struggling novelists of the world bringing their wrists ever so closer to the razor blade.

Instead of reading this trash when it comes out, might I suggest you pick up The Prairie Bridesmaid?



This book was recently sent to me by my dear friend Tannis, not only because she knew I would enjoy it but because she figured it would inspire me to get off my lazy ass and get going own novel. The Prairie Bridesmaid was written by her friend, Daria Salamon, a former Winnipeg high school teacher. I suppose you could call it 'chick lit' but don't let that fool you, The Prairie Bridesmaid has depth and is far more intelligent, sarcastic, and honest than most of the "Like, omigod! I loooove shopping!" or "Wah wah wah, why doesn't he just marry me?" bullshit out there marketed to women which, frankly, is derivative at best and insulting at worst. Seriously, I loved the movie The Devil Wears Prada but I can barely get through a Lauren Weisberger novel. I had to put down Chasing Harry Winston before my eyes permanently rolled into the back of my head.

So instead of helping some rich L.A. twat get richer, pick up The Prairie Bridesmaid and support a Canadian female author whilst saving your brain cells. BECAUSE I SAID SO!! I'm probably not going to have children so I need to find other instances in which to use that wondrous phrase.

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