He's Bringing Stupid Back

Do you listen to Justin Timberlake? What about Beyonce? How about the jiggaman, Jay-Z?

Yes? Guess what? You're a dumbass! Congratulations! It's okay, so am I. We can sniff markers and eat glue and boogers together!

Virgil Griffiths, a PhD student in California has completed a study he claims shows that fans of the aforementioned singers often post poor SAT and IQ scores while fans of artists like Radiohead, Bob Dylan and U2 score higher. Pin a rose on the nose of Beethoven fans because they scored the highest while fans of Lil Wayne might want to pad their bedroom walls because they're apparently some of the dumbest motherfuckers in the game. If you like The Beatles, Frank Sinatra or Bob Marley, don't go feeling all good about yourselves just yet, cause your asses are only average.

So, I'm stupid, apparently. Well, my stupid ass isn't reaching for the vodka bottle to drown my sorrows just yet (well it is, but not because of this) because this study obviously fails to take many things into consideration. Like, for instance; people are lying sacks of shit. There are many closet JT and Beyonce fans out there. Just because someone doesn't cop to liking Timberlake, doesn't mean they don't secretly listen to him. I used to be deep in the closet with the JT love myself but with John Travolta, Tom Cruise and Vin Diesel already in the closet crowdin' me, I had to come out loud and proud!


Also, how many Radiohead 'fans' do you think actually listen to Radiohead? I swear people just spout off that they like Radiohead because they think it makes them cool and have music cred, meanwhile they couldn't name you a Radiohead song other than Creep to save their sorry lives. I'm look at YOU, Miley Virus. http://www.nme.com/news/radiohead/43453

And....what about those of us who, Dog forbid, like JT, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne AND Radiohead and U2? Are we some kind of idiot savants? Like, we can blindly walk up to a piano and hammer out a beautiful sonata but then, after getting lost on the way home, finally arrive and then try to wash our retarded faces with scrambled eggs?**

**For some reason, I consider the act of trying to wash your face with scrambled eggs to be the benchmark of crazy and/or stupid. I cannot tell you why, I just do.**