Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Daily Male St. Patrick's Day Edition: Colin Farrell



Like most girls, I am a sucker for accents, they're like chick kryptonite. A dude could be puking up the most inane bullshit out of his douche mouth but if it's in an accent, it somehow becomes profound poetry. John Mayer needs to start speaking in an accent. British accents are a surefire ladybone inducer of course, but I also love a good Boston accent. It's not as refined no, and some have even said a Boston accent sounds retarded, or retahded in Bostonian, but I love it. It's like lemon gin to me which is to say, it's a panty remover. But to me, even better than a British or Boston accent is an Irish accent. It just does not get any sexier. 

Somewhat recently I met a dude who said this about a girl - "She has the whitest teeth I've ever come across." Let that simmer for a second...yep, there ya go, you got it. Disgusting, right? Wrong. Dude in question is Irish. Perverted and Irish? Fuck off! I was about to get down on my knee and propose (among other things) for this was clearly my soulmate but alas, the girl to whom he was referring is his girlfriend. Of course, right? 

Anyway, I've gotten off track. In the spirit of St. Patrick's Day, Colin Farrell and his hot ass Irish accent are today's Daily Male; 









My friend Robyn and I were recently emailing each other back and forth when talk turned to St. Patrick's Day and Colin Farrell. Read if you dare, but I warn you, your IQ will probably drop a few points;

Robyn: I’m so pumped for St Paddy’s day this year, last year was the first time in like 9 years that we didn’t go out, Tara is making a shirt that is going to say “Shamrock and Roll” and mine is going to say “I only kiss the Irish. I decided”. My favorite shirt we made was “I slept with Colin Farrell”. The old ladies at the pub loved that shit when I wore it.

Me: I slept with Colin Farrell? I loves it. You'd be wearing that shirt in a wheelchair if that shit was true. Have you seen his sex tape? Lil leprauchan is packin some heat.

Robyn: Farrell is packing heat, hey? He seems like he would destroy the shit out of you and then some.

Me: Not only is he packing (btw, to be honest he could use some manscaping 'down there' the bush is a little outta control which was made worse by the fact that, at the time of the sex tape he was filming Daredevil for which he had a bald head so to see him with absolutely NO hair up top while sporting a raging bush down below was somewhat jarring on the eyes) but he also goes down on this chick with some admirable enthusiam and at one point declares that he would like to eat that every day for 'breakfast, lunch and dinner' Yeah, I'm pretty sure we need to marry Colin Farrell.

Robyn: Ooooh dear a hairy boosh scares me! I like the breakfast, lunch and dinner comment though. Very nice.

Me: Holy fuckity. How's this shit for a coinky-dink (heh) just as we're talking about Colin Farrell's peen, Dlisted posts a link to it! I think Michael K is doing mind-reading tricks! Anyway, so, you know how sometimes, after it's been a while since you saw/experienced something, you can sometimes remember it more fondly than it actually was? Yeah, I did that with Colin's ween. I just looked again and I really oversold that shit. Colin and I offer our sincerest apologies. He still gets an A on his oral exam though. Anyway, send this link to your home account for ween action -http://www.omgblog.com/2007/03/omg_he_was_naked_colin_farrell.php

2 comments:

prettystar said...

hahahahaha...SHIT! We are pretty fucking funny. Well I've got my drinking boots on (or the green high heels I get to wear once a year) and I'm on my way to drink my face off, not get it ripped off ala Travis and possibly make out with an Irishmen...yah I wrote it plural if you're picking up what I'm throwin down.
Seacrest out!

Unknown said...

Aaaaahhhhh yea! Successful St.Patrick's all round. Lots of Guinness, Firemen & pretty much the most magically delicious little boys ever! And may I just say, we capped off this AWESOME St. Paddy's Day by obtaining 3 tickets to what will be the most fucking amazing drunk Irish event of the year....U2 in Dublin pre-sale tickets bitches!!!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!! That's right.
Word