I refuse to join Twitter. It's bad enough I'm on Facebook, I don't need this Twitter shit in my life, too. Plus, no offense, but I don't need to know what you're doing, thinking, eating, watching, reading every fucking minute of every fucking day, ya know? Twitter must be like the fucking holy land for all those bastards who feel the need to update their Facebook statuses every time they take a fucking shit. Seriously people, if you're going to update every five fucking minutes, can you at least try to make it funny or interesting or informative? Something? Anything? Anyway, someone else who needs to keep his ass the fuck off Twitter is John Mayer...
Apparently John Mayer, fresh off yet another breakup with Jennifer Aniston, recently posted this on Twitter; "This heart didn't come with instructions."
Fucking.Barf.
My friend Tara can't understand why I hate John Mayer. Tara, it's shit like this that makes me want to punch John Mayer in his douche face. He's a great guitar player people tell me. Great, play the guitar but shut the fuck up cause when John Mayer opens his mouth, douche just falls out. Apparently when he twitters too (or tweats, whatever, don't care)
Anyway, speaking of Twitter, you know who else is NOT on Twitter? Paul Rudd....
My imaginary lover recently told E! "I'm afraid of the Internet. I'm too old to tweet. So I don't tweet, I twat."
Anyway, speaking of Twitter, you know who else is NOT on Twitter? Paul Rudd....
My imaginary lover recently told E! "I'm afraid of the Internet. I'm too old to tweet. So I don't tweet, I twat."
LOVE him.
The Rudd will be on the Ellen Degeneres Show this Friday (thanks to Amanda for the heads up!) I'll be watching. Ladybone in the morning!
1 comment:
I still heart John Mayer. He can spew as much douche as he pleases. What do we want from him anyways? HE'S A GUY!!1! And as we all know, guys in general are pretty much giant over-flowing bags of douche these days.
Except Paul Rudd. He is douche-free and fan-fucking-tastic!
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