NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Sean Penn, he's a great actor but when my best friend Mickey Rourke lost the best actor Oscar, I just about flipped over my friend's coffee table in a Hulk-style rage that would have made Christian Bale say "bitch, calm the fuck down!" My Mickey, who was sporting a Loki locket around his neck in honour of his dearly departed, was robbed and so were we, robbed of what could have been the most legendarily awesome Oscar acceptance speech ever. This is a level of injustice not seen since the Holocaust, Apartheid and the premature cancelation of Arrested Development.

You know Loki was rolling over in her grave over this shit. She's going to spend eternity haunting Sean Penn's ass. Penn gave a shout out to MickRo in his acceptance speech but it wasn't enough to stave off the Wrath Of Loki.



Good luck, Sean. You thought being married to Madonna was difficult? You ain't seen nothin' yet.

THIS IS SOME ALL DOGS (and cats) GO TO HEAVEN SHIT!!! That chimp? Not so much.

Wow. It's been a tough week for our furry little friends.

First, after 18 years of loyal companionship, Loki Rourke peaced off to heaven....



Then Travis, the chimp star of commercials for Coke and Old Navy met his maker. While Loki's crossing over was peaceful and natural, Travis aka FaceOff Chimp went down in a hail of police bullets after violently ripping the face off his mom's friend.



Now comes word that Socks Clinton, the former First Pussy has also quit this cold-hearted bitch called life.




Socks was put to sleep this morning after a battle with cancer. The former first family released a statement about Socks' passing and legacy;

"Socks brought much happiness to Chelsea and us over the years, and enjoyment to kids and cat lovers everywhere. We're grateful for those memories."


Socks has been reunited with the former First Dog Buddy, who was tragically killed in a car accident in 2002.





When asked for comment about the recent celebrity pet passings, Tinkerbell Hilton said "Why, oh why can't it be me? Somebody please put me out of my misery!! I'd do it myself if I only had opposable thumbs! Someone end this please!"



Socks Clinton
1989-2009

*This post is dedicated to Susan who lost her kitty Thomas this week.
RIP Thomas T.