File Under 'Shit We Already Knew,' Carrie Prejean is a Stupid Fucking Bitch

As we all know, Miss California has been stripped of her title for refusing to live up to the contractual obligations that came with her totally useless title. Methinks this isn't the first time this trick has been stripped of something. Clothes and dignity are the first things that come to my mind.

Of course Carrie claims she's being punished for her antiquated stance on same sex marriage for her firing telling Access Hollywood, "none of this would be happening right now if I just said 'yeah, gays should get married. You're right Perez Hilton.' " I would have been cool with her saying that, everything but the 'you're right, Perez Hilton' part because dude is a major league douchebag. Seriously, he's not even in the minors anymore, douche turned fucking pro. Anyway, pageant officials maintain it was Carrie's lack of cooperation that saw her fired and leaked emails between her and Miss California executive director Keith Lewis not only prove bitch was uncooperative but that she's also fucking dumber than a box of rocks. Not that we didn't already suspect that with her enlightened views on 'opposite marriage.'

Below is a mind numbingly frustrating email exchange between Carrie and the aforementioned Keith Lewis leaked to Fox News in which dude suggests she take a meeting at the Style Network. Not only does bitch not understand why or what he's talking about (though it's CLEARLY outlined in the email) bitch gets hostile for no apparent reason, accuses the pageant of trying to make money of her appearances (uhm...isn't that the point?) Then she gets crazy enraged, accusing the pageant of not wanting her to volunteer with the Special Olympics when CLEARLY dude is asking for some contact information so he can arrange said volunteer opportunity through the proper channels, in an official capacity. Are we sure she wasn't asked to compete rather than volunteer? Are Dumbassedry and Cuntiness now events at the Special Olympics? If so, fire up the Star Spangled Banner, cause we got a double gold medal winner on our hands here.

Read the email exchanges below. Or just put your genitals in a vice, it's probably less painful.

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 07:19:18 -0700To: Carrie PrejeanSubject: FW: Messages

Carrie,

The Style Network has asked to schedule a general meeting. Generals in the entertainment field are an opportunity for casting and producing executives to gain a better understanding of a potential talents range and demeanor in order to consider them for future projects. They are done without a specific agenda. I have had great success with my actors who have taken generals and would suggest you give it strong consideration. You never know where it may lead and sometimes they develop entire shows around you. The following days are available to meet with them here in LA. Please let me know as soon as possible if any of them work for you.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:38 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

What is this for?

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 07:43:45 -0700To: Subject: RE: Messages

Carrie,

It is for a general meeting – please see the explanation below.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:42 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

Just as you need details for things so do I. Also nice move trying to make money off of my appearances Also.. Do not try and silence me by saying I do not have a comment about the prop 8 ruling. Maybe you don't. I do

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 07:49:07 -0700To: Subject: RE: Messages

Carrie,

I have given you the details completely. Perhaps it is not something you would like to partake in, either way, you can let me know and I will respond to them today.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:40 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

I expect you to be forwarding me ALL email requests and interview requests to me. I know how you are and its not right if you are selecting things for me. Thanks for your cooperation And fyi I am a presenter of medals at the special olympics in a few weeks for the summer games. So now u know I am doing this and I expect your full support. Also I was asked to fill in for a dj on a local radio show.. Ill be reading from a show biz script monday. I am doing this

From: "Keith Lewis"Date: Fri, 29 May 2009 08:01:35 -0700To: Subject: RE: Messages

Carrie,

As we have discussed, there is proper protocol and we have not waived our rights in any way to your contract. I am happy to try and facilitate the request. Please forward over the information along with the proper contact and we will try and confirm the appearance right away.

Best regards,

Keith Lewis

From: cprejeanXXXXSent: Friday, May 29, 2009 7:57 AMTo: Keith LewisSubject: Re: Messages

You do not cooperate with me, and you pick and chose the the things YOU want me to do. That is not happening anymore. Stop speaking for me. I have MY own voice. What are u gonna do fire me for volunteering for the special olympics hahaha ur crazy No I am doing this appearance. You do not need details. Its for the SPECIAL OLYMPICS!!! You just need to know I will be doing it alright

You will not facilitate this appearance

You can take your genitals out of the vice now. I enjoy how this bitch not only lacks very basic reading and comprehension skills, but the fundamentals of English as well. Hello Carrie, I'd like you to introduce you to my old friends period and comma. Use them. Also, bonus points for the misuse of the word 'facilitate.' I love when a dumbass busts out what he/she thinks is a five dollar word and then proceeds to use it incorrectly. And I'm sorry but using shit like 'ur' instead of 'you're' in a business-related email is just one of the hundreds of pieces of mounting evidence that society is going to shit. This ain't texting, bitch, spell out your words! A part of me died inside reading these emails. Methinks instead of paying for her titty implants, the Miss California pageant should have paid for a brain implant because clearly, CJ here is working without one. Allow me to quote Judge Judith Sheindlin when I say 'beauty fades, dumb is forever.' (speaking of dumb, why is my font all fucked? Argh!)

I cannot imagine the herculean amounts of restraint it must have taken for Keith Lewis not to write back telling this self-entitled, illiterate retard to gently fuck herself with a chainsaw. I can't say I'd show the same restraint if faced with such a stupid fucking twat. Somebody nominate this motherfucker for a Nobel Peace Prize.