What Have I, What Have I, What Have I Done to Deserve This?

That classic Pet Shop Boys song started playing in my head as soon as I heard Lisa Rinna and her busted ass hole lips were posing for Playboy. Bitch has a body to die for, I'll give her that but she also has a face that will kill you.

Well it's happened. Here are some of the pics......

I don't know if she's totally naked inside the mag and I'm not enough of a masochist to investigate for myself but if someone out there is more brave than I (or hates him/herself more) can you let me know? I'm dying to know if her other lips are as busted as the ones on her face.

What Kids Chose This?

*Shudder*

Tori Spelling, Lisa Rinna and Lisa's Busted Asshole Lips at last night's Kids Choice Awards. I'm not sure what the kids did to deserve this but it must have been pretty bad cause I doubt any kids chose this.

Someone also needs to tell Tori that it doesn't matter how much she starves herself, that face will always cancel it out. Have a Big Mac Tori, for reals.

If This is Sexy, I Wanna Be Ugly

Here's Lisa Rinna and her busted ass hole lips at some event called TV Guide's Sexiest Stars Party.

Hmm...okay after much deliberation over my grande half-sweet, non-fat, no-foam hazelnut latte I've come to the conclusion that one of two things must have happened here, either a) in one fell swoop, everyone at TV Guide has lost their sense of sight in some kind of situation reminiscent of that Julianne Moore/Mark Ruffalo movie from last year THIS IS SOME BLINDNESS SHIT!!! or b) unbeknownst to me, those crazy Oxford dictionary people have changed the definition of sexy. Cause last time I checked, having hemorrhoid sphincter mouth was not considered sexy.

Honk if There's a Busted Ass Hole on My Face!

Lisa Rinna and her busted ass hole lips were pimping themselves out on Melrose Avenue yesterday as part of some bullshit stunt to get her ass cast in the new Melrose Place remake. Unless the script calls for a woman who is victimized by a malicious plastic surgeon who, while she's in surgery, replaces her mouth with a hemmorrhoid-inflamed ass hole, I'd say her chances are pretty slim.

I mean, take a look at this mess. This bitch must use Preparation H as lipstick.