Here's Sharon Osbourne celebrating her birthday in Dublin.
I can't help but love this bitch. Yes, it was probably Bad Idea Jeans to whore out her family to reality television which likely resulted in the drug addictions of two of her kids but I just can't hate on this feisty lady. J'adore her! I mean, bitch has sent shit to people! Like, she put an actual turd in a Tiffany box, wrapped it up and sent it to someone she hated as a gift!
That shit automatically makes Sharon my hero. My friend and I once attempted to send excrement to some stupid twat we hated at work. We were going to take a dump in a mug, wrap it up and leave it on this trick's desk. Then we got paranoid, fearing advancements in DNA testing (we've seen our fare share of Law and Order episodes, thank you very much) would prove we were the culprits and result in our firings and possible arrests. So, we decided to use dog shit instead. So, cut to both of us in a fucking dog park in the middle of the night, trolling for shit! However, it was dark and we were without flashlights and we couldn't distinguish clumps of mud from actual turds. We tried to park as close as we could to capitalize on the illumination from our car's headlights but it was not enough. Alas, it was not to be. Sigh. I'll never be as awesome as Sharon Osbourne. Sad face.
That shit automatically makes Sharon my hero. My friend and I once attempted to send excrement to some stupid twat we hated at work. We were going to take a dump in a mug, wrap it up and leave it on this trick's desk. Then we got paranoid, fearing advancements in DNA testing (we've seen our fare share of Law and Order episodes, thank you very much) would prove we were the culprits and result in our firings and possible arrests. So, we decided to use dog shit instead. So, cut to both of us in a fucking dog park in the middle of the night, trolling for shit! However, it was dark and we were without flashlights and we couldn't distinguish clumps of mud from actual turds. We tried to park as close as we could to capitalize on the illumination from our car's headlights but it was not enough. Alas, it was not to be. Sigh. I'll never be as awesome as Sharon Osbourne. Sad face.
2 comments:
Sharon should write a book with tips on how to gift excrament to others - 101 ways to let poo say what you can't. I appreciate when people just tell it like it is and if the message is you are a turd, then by all means, a flaming hot bag of poo is in order! My hero indeed!
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