Thursday, October 29, 2009

Yesss!!! Levi Johnston to Whip out His Johnson for Playgirl!

We already knew the hottest and dumbest teenaged baby daddy in the game, Levi Johnston, was gonna shed some threads for Playgirl but we didn't know just how nekkid this backwoods boy toy was gonna get. Well friends, now we do. Levi has confirmed that he's going to hang out with his wang out, rock out with his cock out. His manager Tank (cause everyone associated with these yahoos has to have a fucking name like this) broke the news to TMZ, saying "Everything's gonna hang out, we're talking full johnson." Sidenote: If I ever achieve any kind of infamy, I'm hiring Tank as my spokesman. I think we'd get along just fine. Anyway back to young Levi....

Playgirl magazine only exists online these days which is perfect! I mean, how much of a douche would you feel like actually buying the magazine? This way you can enjoy touching yourself to the image of Levi's illegitimate baby maker without having to put on pants or leave the house! And an online version is a great way to avoid the inevitable sticky pages with which the magazine version would surely be fraught. Brilliant.

Levi will slide out of his levis for Playgirl's December issue. Looks like Christmas won't be the only thing coming that month! I'm gonna down a morning after pill with a vodka soda once I'm done looking at his spread though. This manwhore is dumber than a sack of hammers and the dumb ones are always the most fertile. A gal can never be too safe!