Pretty Girls

Here's Zac Efron and Sasha Baron Cohen as Bruno backstage at last night's MTV Movie Awards. When a flaming twink dressed as an angel looks more masculine than you, it's really time to pick up the scissors, no?

Andy Samberg Needs To Host Everything From Now On

Did you watch the MTV Movie Awards? MTV award shows, both movie and music video, have been steadily sucking more and more donkey balls as the years have gone on. I try to tell myself this is not because I'm getting older and further away from the MTV demographic (because frankly, I'm very immature) but because they actually suck. But last night MTV was back on its game and it's mostly because of this man...

Andy was the perfect host. From the cold open during which he ended up naked in a limo with Justin Timberlake (weird, I just had that dream the other night!) to his opening song featuring Cameron Diaz dancing and Fred Armisen getting an intervention, to the amazing duet with 'Neil Diamond' about how cool guys don't look at explosions, Andy was on fire. Did you hear when he introduced High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens as the girl from the brave documentary about an all gay high school? Heh. Andy Samberg should host everything everywhere from now on. MTV should seriously toss his salad because Sambo saved the show from major suckage. But speaking of suckage, was anyone else annoyed as fuck as the black box MTV Canada had up in the bottom corner of the screen featuring twitters and tweets or whatever the fuck? WTF? Yeah, MTV Canada, I don't want to see everything that's happening on the stage, I'd much rather look at retarded ramblings like "OMG, Zac Efron is like, sooooo haaawwwwt!" Between that and the completely unwatchable cut ins they did from the MTV Canada studio, yikes! Did you see that episode of 30 Rock where Steve Martin and Tina Fey watch MTV Canada and Steve Martin says something to the effect of 'they just can't get anything right up there can they?' Word. 

Here are some of the notable moments from last night...


How amazing was it when Bruno floated out above the crowd only to land with his bare ass right in Eminem's face? Epic. We were laughing our faces off watching this spectacle. Everyone on the internet has been getting their panties in a knot about Eminem storming out in a rage, wondering if it was real or staged. Puhlease people, of course it was staged. Still funny as hell, though. I cannot wait to see the Bruno movie. In the meantime, click below to watch last night's glorious moment, hopefully it won't be pulled down by Viacom, not sure if they're as Gestapo-like as the Nazi Broadcasting Corporation.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9gc0k_bruno-and-eminem-get-intimate-mtv-m_shortfilms

No surprise, Twilight swept all the awards for which it was nominated. I'm not a pimply 12-year-old girl waiting for her period to finally come so yeah, I don't care.



The medley of songs from Andy's legendary SNL Digital Shorts almost brought a tear to my eye. Right before this started up, I said to my friends "could you imagine if there was a medley?" and then as if Sambo himself heard my prayers, this hilarity ensued. Oscar winner Forest Whitaker singing Dick in a Box? Amazing.


Ugh. Shut the fuck up, Miley Virus. Of course this backwoods hillbilly thanked God in her speech. Honey, the fact that your annoying ass not only exists but makes more money in a day than I will make in my life is only further proof that God does not, in fact, exist.


Okay, Efron these man bangs of yours are getting right out of control. If they get any longer they're going to cover your eyes and then how will you be able to check out all the cute boys? Seriously though, cut your fucking hair! Maybe he should get the same amazing cut as that Jon and Kate Plus 8 beast woman? Nah, that's way too butch for young Zac.


Gah! Kings of Leon! These guys sound so amazing live unlike many, many other 'musicians.' If you're in Calgary, Edmonton or Vancouver, I hope you're seeing them this summer, you will not be disappointed. Let's look at Caleb now, shall we?


Sigh. My loins are on fire.


Speaking of loins on fire, how hot is Chris Pine? My ass really needs to see Star Trek. I cannot believe I just wrote that.


The guys from The Hangover presented. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you HAVE to see The Hangover when it opens this weekend. Epic.

At the beginning of the show, Andy said the musical stylings of Keyboard Cat would play off anyone whose speech ran long. I was looking forward to it but it never happened so because this post is getting too long, take it away Keyboard Cat....

KOL Get Their MOJO

Hotties of rock Kings of Leon are in the latest issue of MOJO magazine. In the pages the boys talk about criticism they've strayed from their gritty southern fried original rock sound and sold out with more pop-oriented material, says Caleb;

"I've always been scared of songs being these big crossover hits. Like, with Use Somebody, I wrote the melody and all of us related to it, it felt like this big song, so I kinda pushed it under the rug. Then we were making Only By The Night and Matt kept saying, 'where's that song about using somebody?' I would act like I didn't know what he meant. I knew what he was talking about, but it scared me."

I love the entire Only By The Night album but I gotta say Use Somebody is not high on my rotation. Closer, I Want You, 17, Notion, and Manhattan get way more spins on my ipod. Closer and I Want You are particularly sexay if you're looking to add to your 'hit it' playlist.  Read more of the MOJO interview here; 

http://www.mojo4music.com/blog/2009/05/king_of_leon_reform_for_mojo.html

A post about Kings of Leon wouldn't be complete without some sweet eye candy so here's some KOL porn from inside the mag;

Don't forget KOL will perform on the MTV Movie Awards hosted by the Jew hotness that is Andy Samberg, this Sunday night!

KOL + Samberg = OMFG

I just jizzed in my pants.



Kings of Leon will perform at the MTV Movie Awards! Yessss!!!!!! The awards, as we know, will be hosted by the hot Jew sex bomb that is Andy Samberg and it's rumoured that Sambo's good friend and fellow motherlover Justin Timberlake will make some sort of appearance. This is on top of the fact that the love of my life Paul Rudd and my man friend Jason Segel are nommed for awards.

Someone put 911 on my speed dial cause I'm probably gonna stroke out mid-show, piss my pants and forget my name for half an hour. Totes worth it.

Have you seen KOL live? A-maz-ing.



Click below for big O-inducing performances of Closer, Milk and Knocked Up. I warn you, these performances are hot, do not watch these at work unless you have a private bathroom in which to 'relieve' yourself immediately after viewing.


Closer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mIHB2JnY4

Milk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLQu6uWvdSw&feature=related

Knocked Up:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fICtrVyApBY&feature=related

Caleb's voice should seriously be rated NC-17 because unlike Trix, that shit ain't for kids.


We don't have to wait until the MTV Movie Awards on May 31st for the Followill boys to invade our TVs. KOL is on The Tonight Show tonight, Friday, May 15th. Set your PVRs, bitches! And while you're doing that, set one for the Today show on July 31st because the boys will be performing as part of the summer concert series. Hot.

The MTV Movie Awards Could Be Ruddiculously Awesome

The MTV Awards, both music video and movie, aren't what they used to be. At all. But I'll be tuning into the movie awards on May 31st for three reasons;

1. The Jewy hotness and comedy stylings of Andy Samberg is hosting. LIKE A BOSS!

2. Jason Segel and his flaccid peen are nominated for Best WTF Moment.


3. Paul Rudd is nominated for best kiss for I Love You, Man.

These three ingredients could stop the show from being botched abortion it's become over the years. Remember when Chris Rock used to host? That was some funny shit.

Speaking of funny shit, click below for one of my favourite MTV Movie Award moments, Jim Carrey accepting an award in disguise, proclaiming there to be a lot of 'fine looking pussy in the room tonight' and demanding MTV play more Foghat. Haha.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWqVIzH7D3Q