I Bet Bradley Cooped Her

Here's Bradley Cooper and Heather Graham at The Hangover premiere in London earlier today. Anyone else getting a 'they've totally banged' vibe from them like I am? Of course this means Heather Graham is now public enemy number one, my arch nemesis. Nah, I ain't mad at her, I wouldn't blame her for Hangin' With Mr. Cooper. Naked. If I had access to the Coop, he'd be the Rihanna to my Chris Brown which is to say I'd hit that. Hard. If the Coop was in my circle, a restraining order would have to be filed at some point and even that would not deter me because we all know a restraining order is just another way of saying 'I love you,' right?

As predicted, The Hangover was the number one movie in North America this past weekend and plans are in the works for a sequel. I saw it for the second time and laughed just as much as the first, particularly when Ed Helms vomits right at the breakfast table and then nearly spews again after the mere mention of Jagermeister. Since just hours previously I had a vodka vomit in a Shell station, I empathized. Also, anyone else officially in platonic, non-sexual love with Zach Galifianakis? I totally want him to add me to his wolf pack. Together we'll roam Vegas looking for strippers and cocaine. I just hope he doesn't put any roofies or floories or groundies or rapies in my drink!

Time to Experience The Hangover

The Hangover opens this weekend! Are you going to see it? If not, why? Do you not like laughter? Are you allergic to joy? 

Above is the cast at the movie's LA premiere. Just look at Bradley Cooper rocking the shit out of that grey suit with that glorious head of hair. The Hangover is going to take the Coops to the next level. Trust. We will be seeing a lot of him and that is kool n' the gang with me!

Below is Bradley and Heather Graham at the premiere after party. Look at his white teeth! I bet they are made from grounded up unicorn horns sprinkled with heavenly angel dust. 

Andy Samberg Needs To Host Everything From Now On

Did you watch the MTV Movie Awards? MTV award shows, both movie and music video, have been steadily sucking more and more donkey balls as the years have gone on. I try to tell myself this is not because I'm getting older and further away from the MTV demographic (because frankly, I'm very immature) but because they actually suck. But last night MTV was back on its game and it's mostly because of this man...

Andy was the perfect host. From the cold open during which he ended up naked in a limo with Justin Timberlake (weird, I just had that dream the other night!) to his opening song featuring Cameron Diaz dancing and Fred Armisen getting an intervention, to the amazing duet with 'Neil Diamond' about how cool guys don't look at explosions, Andy was on fire. Did you hear when he introduced High School Musical's Vanessa Hudgens as the girl from the brave documentary about an all gay high school? Heh. Andy Samberg should host everything everywhere from now on. MTV should seriously toss his salad because Sambo saved the show from major suckage. But speaking of suckage, was anyone else annoyed as fuck as the black box MTV Canada had up in the bottom corner of the screen featuring twitters and tweets or whatever the fuck? WTF? Yeah, MTV Canada, I don't want to see everything that's happening on the stage, I'd much rather look at retarded ramblings like "OMG, Zac Efron is like, sooooo haaawwwwt!" Between that and the completely unwatchable cut ins they did from the MTV Canada studio, yikes! Did you see that episode of 30 Rock where Steve Martin and Tina Fey watch MTV Canada and Steve Martin says something to the effect of 'they just can't get anything right up there can they?' Word. 

Here are some of the notable moments from last night...


How amazing was it when Bruno floated out above the crowd only to land with his bare ass right in Eminem's face? Epic. We were laughing our faces off watching this spectacle. Everyone on the internet has been getting their panties in a knot about Eminem storming out in a rage, wondering if it was real or staged. Puhlease people, of course it was staged. Still funny as hell, though. I cannot wait to see the Bruno movie. In the meantime, click below to watch last night's glorious moment, hopefully it won't be pulled down by Viacom, not sure if they're as Gestapo-like as the Nazi Broadcasting Corporation.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9gc0k_bruno-and-eminem-get-intimate-mtv-m_shortfilms

No surprise, Twilight swept all the awards for which it was nominated. I'm not a pimply 12-year-old girl waiting for her period to finally come so yeah, I don't care.



The medley of songs from Andy's legendary SNL Digital Shorts almost brought a tear to my eye. Right before this started up, I said to my friends "could you imagine if there was a medley?" and then as if Sambo himself heard my prayers, this hilarity ensued. Oscar winner Forest Whitaker singing Dick in a Box? Amazing.


Ugh. Shut the fuck up, Miley Virus. Of course this backwoods hillbilly thanked God in her speech. Honey, the fact that your annoying ass not only exists but makes more money in a day than I will make in my life is only further proof that God does not, in fact, exist.


Okay, Efron these man bangs of yours are getting right out of control. If they get any longer they're going to cover your eyes and then how will you be able to check out all the cute boys? Seriously though, cut your fucking hair! Maybe he should get the same amazing cut as that Jon and Kate Plus 8 beast woman? Nah, that's way too butch for young Zac.


Gah! Kings of Leon! These guys sound so amazing live unlike many, many other 'musicians.' If you're in Calgary, Edmonton or Vancouver, I hope you're seeing them this summer, you will not be disappointed. Let's look at Caleb now, shall we?


Sigh. My loins are on fire.


Speaking of loins on fire, how hot is Chris Pine? My ass really needs to see Star Trek. I cannot believe I just wrote that.


The guys from The Hangover presented. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you HAVE to see The Hangover when it opens this weekend. Epic.

At the beginning of the show, Andy said the musical stylings of Keyboard Cat would play off anyone whose speech ran long. I was looking forward to it but it never happened so because this post is getting too long, take it away Keyboard Cat....

Hangin' With Mr. Cooper

Seeing the solid comedy gold that was The Hangover on Monday night has left me hungry for two things 1) another trip to Vegas (my third) and 2) more Bradley Cooper. Since my ass is too broke for number one, I'll have to settle for number two. Thankfully Coops is EVERYWHERE these days including the current issue of Details. Grab a cold drink girls and gays, it's about to get real hot up in this bitch;

Click below to read the Details interview during which Hangover costar Ed Helms describes Coops as "a highly intelligent being wrapped in a hot, studly body." Word, E-Helms, word.

http://men.style.com/details/features/full?id=content_9457

Bradley was in Toronto this week (he was at my Monday night screening which was, unfortunately, not held in my bedroom) he also stopped by The Hour. Click below to watch Strombo and Coops;

http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/videos.html?id=5393362

Daily Male: Justin Bartha

I am still laughing at The Hangover. Bradley Cooper isn't the only hotness in the movie, Justin Bartha offers up some eye candy as well, although not enough because he spends the majority of the movie missing-in-action. So because there wasn't enough of the J-Barth in The Hangover, let's gaze upon him here now, shall we? Justin Bartha is today's Daily Male.

The Hangover isn't the first time Justin Bartha and Bradley Cooper have shared the screen, the guys appeared alongside Matthew McConaughey in the meh-fest, the appropriately-titled Failure to Launch.


If Bartha looks familiar, he was also in the National Treasure movies (which I didn't see) and the cinematic abortion, Gigli (which I did see in a 'how bad can this really be?' kinda way. Verdict; Bad. Real bad)


The fact that Justin still wanted to make movies after that crapfest is a testament to his resiliency. But enough of that, look how pretty he looks all tuxed up!





Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, I'm hot for teacher...

I'm Hungover From Laughing So Hard at The Hangover

Do yourselves a favour, see The Hangover when that shit opens on June 5th. I saw a preview last night and I cannot remember when I've laughed so hard and so consistently throughout a movie. I went in with high expectations which were not only met, they were exceeded. Every couple minutes I was busting a gut.  At one point I seriously feared I was going to choke on the popcorn I smuggled in my oversized handbag. The Hangover is directed by Todd Phillips who was also the director of Old School. If you liked Old School, you'll love The Hangover, especially if you've ever had a wild weekend in Vegas full of drunken debauchery. I'd even venture to say I liked The Hangover more than Old School which, if you knew how close I hold Old School to my cold, black heart, you'd know that's saying something. I shit you not, see this movie.

Sidebar: Bradley Cooper was at last night's screening doing a quick Q&A before the movie started. The Coops is just as hot in person as he is on screen. Dude rocks a wicked head of hair and is damn fiiiine. He's been slowly building his career playing sidekicks, second fiddles and supporting characters but mark my words - after The Hangover, Bradley Cooper is going to break big time. The Hangover is going to do well, it's the perfect summer time laugh extravaganza and if it doesn't have a huge opening weekend, it will get bigger through positive world of mouth. If you check it out, make sure to watch the credits, there's a major payoff involving a digital camera and it is fucking hilarious.

Since you have to wait for June 5th to see The Hangover, click below and drink up this funny Funny or Die skit with Hangover costar, comedian Zach Galifianakis interviewing Bradley Cooper - Between Two Ferns. 

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6ae880a42b/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis

Poke Her? I Hardly Know Her!

Here's Bradley Cooper at a recent celebrity poker tourney in Vegas proving Brad Pitt ain't the only hot Brad in the game. B-Coops is speaking out against reports he's bumping genitals with Jennifer Aniston, telling People mag, "I met her 3 times in my life..my mom loves it, but unfortunately it's not true." Bradley and Jen two costarred in the movie He's Just Not That Into You but didn't share any scenes together. I guess Coops is telling us he's just not in Jennifer Aniston (zing!)

So there you have it. Wait, hold the phone - Jennifer Aniston was once married to a Brad, Bradley Cooper was once married to a Jennifer (Esposito) My mind just exploded. I know, it doesn't take much.


Here's another picture of Coopsy, just cause he's so purdy.



I cannot wait to see The Hangover! I lived that shit last weekend. Killer wine hangover. Ugh. Wine hangovers are the worst Jerry, the worst!


I've posted it here before but I'll do it again, below is the third and latest trailer for The Hangover directed by Todd Philips of Old School fame. Vegas est tres dangereux, non? The last time I went, I woke up in Boston. It happens. At least Mike Tyson didn't punch me in the face whilst enthusiastically air-drumming to Phil Collins. Could always be worse!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZL4tf-5AzY

I'm So Seeing This

When my dear friend Scotty recently sent me the trailer for a movie called The Hangover, my first thought was to lawyer the fuck up because clearly, someone had made a film about my life story without first obtaining the proper rights. I've had some legendary hangovers in my day. Epic. The fact that I still drink is a testament to either my tenacity or my extreme, almost dangerous levels of stupidity. A mix of both I'd say.

A particularly epic hangover came after a night of karaoke a few years ago in Calgary. That night I was convinced the bartender was trying to pull a fast one on my ass by not actually putting any vodka in my vodka sodas. I drank and drank and drank but felt nothing. Until the next morning. I felt something, alright. NEVER have I had a headache so raging, at one point I think I even lost my sense of sight. Given the choice between a) suffering from that pain along with the 12-hour long vomit extravaganza that ripped apart my insides, robbing my battered body of every last ounce of bile, and b) a swift death, I would have picked the sweet relief of death. Without hesitation. To make matters worse, I was leaving the next day for the Schindler's List 10th anniversary event in LA and because I had not seen the film since it was in theatres (not really one of those feel good movies you watch over and over again, is it?) I knew I had to watch it before I left. So for three hours of my painful odyssey of self-destruction, I had to watch that happy movie. I know this makes me a total asshole but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling jealousy at some points during those three hours. That is just how badly I wanted to be dead. I would have greeted Amon Goeth with a hug and said "what took your Nazi ass so long?"

Anyway, I could fill an entire book with my hangover horror stories but instead, click below to watch the trailer for The Hangover. It's directed by Todd Philips who also made one of my favourite and most quotable movies, Old School. Seriously, click on this shit below, it looks SOOOO funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OligCf4SyYE

Standouts:

Did I lose a tooth?

Whose baby is that?

You were in the hospital last night!

I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust!

Mike Tyson air drumming. But dude, that IS fo sho the BEST part of In the Air Tonight. It ALWAYS makes me wish I was a drummer.

When did Bradley Cooper get so hawt? Delish!

The Hangover. June 5th. I'm there.