Somebody needs to be getting PETA on the phone like STAT because the 'creative team' behind Sex and the City will NOT stop beating this poor, dead horse. And you'd think if anyone, Sarah Jessica Parker would be the one to have compassion for our equine friends.
Rumours of a sequel to the Sex and the City movie have been swirling since the first one made ten billion dollars at the box office. Talk is intensifying after Sex and the City's batshit crazy costume designer Patricia Field told MTV a followup is indeed in the works. The designer, who was responsible for that atrocious and unflattering wedding ensemble SJP sported in the first film, told MTV "I do believe it will happen, because [creator] Michael Patrick King himself told me it's gonna happen."
I'm sure thousands of women around the world are excited by this news but I am not one of them. I was a huge fan of the series. Huge. I've seen every episode several times and like many fans of the show, went to see the film the night it opened with some girlfriends. I think the fact that I was with my lovely lady friends and having a good time clouded my initial judgement because once I sat down and actually thought about it I realized something; the Sex and the City movie sucked major balls! Seriously big, hairy donkey balls!
First of all, the way the series ended didn't really require a movie, but as a fan of the show I was looking forward to revisiting the characters. Unfortunately instead of capturing the essence of the show, the movie turned the characters into caricatures in what was essentially a two and a half-hour commercial for shoes, clothes, vodka (yum), Vitamin water and handbags. I like looking at pretty things as much as the next bitch but there was really no point to the movie. The end result (save for the breakup of Samantha and Smith) was the same as the series, Charlotte and Harry lived happily ever after, Miranda and Steve were in Brooklyn and after ridiculous and exhausting lame drama, Big and Carrie were together. But worse than being completely and totally pointless, the movie was insulting on several levels and annoying as fuck.
First of all, Charlotte really served no purpose at all. Unless you count shitting your pants as purposeful (if so, I had one very traumatic day in 2008 where a weird stomach issue and distance from a toilet combined to make me very purposeful. But that's neither here nor there and I swore I'd never speak of that day again)
Anyway, hearing the girls screech in delight every.single.time Samantha turned up in New York from L.A. became intolerable after the first five times. Seriously, bitch seemed to be visiting New York every other weekend, is it really that much of a shock and surprise? And don't even get me started on when they began ragging on Samantha for being chubby. Seriously? Bitch is 50 years old and even with the weight gain, she still had a body most 30-year-olds would kill for. Miranda and Steve's story line could have been interesting if it was flushed out but naturally it was pushed aside to make way for the ridiculous, immature totally manufactured drama of Carrie and Big. I'm sure it sucked to be left at the altar (although Carrie really wasn't left at the altar and she would have figured that out had she and Big spoke to each other like actual, I don't know, adults?) but the period of mourning Carrie went through with her girlfriends coddling her like a child was just stupid. Particularly stupid was how Miranda was left to cope with the discovery of her husband's cheating and possible subsequent divorce while Carrie, who was screwed over by the same person who screwed her over a thousand times before, was so distraught, so broken that she was essentially bedridden. Miranda is expected to get over it while Carrie is actually being SPOON FED in bed by her friend? Give me a fucking break. I know it was supposed to be some big statement about female bonding and friendship and whatnot but I've known women who have dealt with a fuck of a lot more (myself included) and have not once resorted to being spoon fed like an invalid. It was insulting.
Please, SJP and company, save us another useless movie, stop shitting on the legacy of the show, stop beating this dead horse and send the poor bastard to the glue factory. But since money talks and the first movie made so much of it, you know this shit is most def gonna happen.
