Razztastic!

The Oscar nominations are out tomorrow! I am not a follower of sports (save for grade eleven when I developed an inexplicable obsession with the NBA. Seriously, obsessed!) so the Oscars are like my Super Bowl. To tide us over until tomorrow's noms, the nominations for the Razzie Awards have been announced. Here's how the main categories break down:

WORST MOVIE
Disaster Movie
The Happening
The Hottie And The Nottie
In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
The Love Guru
Meet The Spartans

WORST ACTOR

Larry the Cable Guy
WITLESS PROTECTION
Eddie Murphy
MEET DAVE
Mike Myers
THE LOVE GURU
Al Pacino
88 MINUTES and RIGHTEOUS KILL
Mark Wahlberg
THE HAPPENING and MAX PAYNE

WORST ACTRESS

Jessica Alba
THE EYE and THE LOVE GURU
The Cast of THE WOMEN
(Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Meg Ryan)
Cameron Diaz
WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
Paris Hilton
THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
Kate Hudson
FOOLS’ GOLD and MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL



I'm happy to see Paris Hilton nominated for her cinematic abortion The Hottie and The Nottie. I haven't actually seen it but I also haven't had to actually give birth to a hot curling iron to know I wouldn't like that either.


Kate Hudson is another deserved nomination. I enjoy Kate, she's cute and I kind of love and admire that she blows through men like kleenex (I also love the yellow she's sporting in this pic) but Fool's Gold was mind-numbingly horrible (am I right, cousin Mike?) Like, someone send a DVD of this shit to Gitmo if they're looking for new and more brutal torture techniques.


Anyone with functioning eyes and ears could have told you The Love Guru was balls from the previews alone. Shit, maybe even Helen Keller could have told you. Even the temptation of Justin Timberlake in a pair of tighties (and albeit a bad wig) wasn't enough to lure my ass into that trap.


I'm sad to see Markie Mark nominated though. Did I see either of those movies? No, no I did not. However, the 14-year-old girl in me will forever have a crush on Mark. The 30-year-old woman in me wants to do unspeakably dirty things to him. Have you seen the Andy Samberg SNL skit 'Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals?" I'm too lazy to try and find it for you but youtube that shit, then say hi to your mutha for me!




Editor's Note: When I was google imaging the crap out of raspberries pics, I came across several shots of raspberry vodka beverages. Like, not raspberry flavoured vodka but actual raspberries in your glass of vodka! Why the hell haven't I thought of this? Delish!!