There are few things in this world I take really seriously; my grande half-sweet, non-fat, no-foam, extra-hot, hazelnut latte from Starbucks is one of them as is my assertion that Arrested Development was the best show to grace the television airwaves and of course, vodka. I take vodka very seriously, it's not just for breakfast anymore!
Something else I take seriously is the English language, more specifically, spelling, even more specifically, it drives me crazy when other people don't take it seriously.
Listen, I know I have the mouth of a either truck driver or a mob boss. Or a mob boss who drives trucks a few times a week in order to look legit. So, I'm well aware I'm not exactly the one to be extolling the virtues of proper English. I drop more F bombs and C bombs on a daily basis than American troops drop real bombs over Iraq and I can guaran-ass-tee there are some commas and semi colons in this post.
That said, at least my obscenities, as frequent as they spew from my mouth or keyboard, are always spelled correctly and used in the proper context. Poor spelling is running rampant in today's world. Is it getting worse? Or am I just getting cranky and more intolerant as I get older and I'm noticing it more? I do think with facebook, people's atrocious spelling mistakes are on display now more than ever before and it's making me die inside a little bit every day. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to write on someone's wall and let them know what a fucking dumbass he/she is. The temptation is almost too powerful. This must be what R. Kelly feels like at a junior high dance! Here are some things I notice on a day-to-day basis on facebook that drive me fucking mental:
1. To vs Too. This is not difficult, folks. When you're trying to convey a sentiment along the lines of 'in addition to,' or
as well as,' use 'too.' Example: "I like it too." or "Are you going too?" Or if something is "too much" or "too heavy' or "too stupid." Seriously people, this is not rocket science.
2. Definitely. It ASTONISHES me how many people spell this word 'definately.' I don't even know how, when or why this got started but it has to end. Now.
3. Your vs You're. Again, it's truly amazing how many people do not know when to use which form of this word. It's so easy, you are = you're. 'Your' is the possessive form of the word, as in "your bad spelling makes me want to punch babies." That's it, that's all. Please people, you're killing me. Or as some would say, "your killing me."
4. 's. One thing I'm noticing more and more is people slapping an apostrophe s at the end of words that are plural, not possessive and therefore, require no apostrophe at all. Example: "These jean's are getting really tight," or "I'm posting some photo's of my graduation from high school even though I failed English." Stop it!
Please folks, with these simple tips everybody wins! Not win's!
Of course now that I've jumped on my high horse and ranted like a total bitch, this post will inevitably contain a host of spelling and grammatical errors. Just as I can always be counted on to go overboard when there's an open bar and end up getting cut off, I can also be relied on to fuck up when I'm being Superior Sally.
Seriously, every.fucking.time.
