CSI: South Central

I was supposed to go to a movie last night but then my friend straight up canceled on my ass (thanks LB) I was looking forward to seeing Mickey 'I thank my dogs' Rourke in the Wrestler but alas, spent the evening on my couch. While stuffing my face on said couch, I discovered two things;

1. I have no idea which button on my remote turns closed captioning on/off (my cat walked on the remote and now I'm watching everything in cc) It's rather annoying.

and

2. Laurence Fishburne is now on CSI. I may have to start watching CSI again. I love Laurence Fishburne. He was Ike Turner in What's Love Got to Do with It and some other dude in the Matrix movies (I'm not even gonna bother looking up the character's name because I fucking hated The Matrix with the passion of a thousand burning suns) Anyway, Lar-Fish, as I've never referred to him until just right now, has played a bunch of other characters over the years but to me, he will always be Furious Styles the no-nonsense, not-to-be-fucked with father from Boyz n' The Hood.



When I was in grade nine, I was OBSESSED with Boyz n' The Hood. I couldn't get enough of Dough Boy, Ricky and of course, Tre Styles played by a then (and once again) unknown Cuba Gooding Jr. I can't remember exactly how many times I watched this movie but if I had to venture a guess I'd say it's in the neighbourhood of 10 - 15. My one girlfriend and I listened to the soundtrack all the time. I lived for that shit. Why, you ask?

Because in my unimaginably retarded 14-year-old brain, I thought living in South Central Los Angeles would be soooo cool!! As someone who grew up in a neighbourhood where all the parents were friends with each other, our backyard backed on to a large park, we didn't lock our doors and had a big neighbourhood party every May long weekend, another world where police helicopters whirled in the skies above your street, people get their asses capped and your friends go to jail seemed so exciting! My life, with my gainfully-employed, emotionally stable, loving and law-abiding parents was well, boring in comparison. So much so that on and off for the next several years I would sometimes seek out the biggest degenerate loser thugs with whom to hang out. I eventually snapped out of this retarded phase at 17 when the cops turned up at my house. Seems my loser criminal boyfriend at the time was accused of sexually assaulting a girl at my high school. Not cool. I was questioned and had to give a statement about my experiences with this accused rapist (who, strangely enough was actually a perfect gentleman with me) As you can imagine this went over real well with mom and dad. It was enough to scare me and snap my ass out of this most retarded of phases.

I have no idea whatever happened with that rape charge. I think Laurence Fishburne needs to get on the case. In the meantime, he needs to get his ass over to my apartment and CSI the crap out of my TV to turn off this fucking closed captioning!