Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Scarlett Fever



I have a mad girl crush on Scarlett Johansson. I have for years. Can you blame me? Just look at her. She is insanely hot. I could get lost for hours in her magnificent, billowy cleavage. I love that she's sexy as hell and isn't an anorexic stick figure. She has boobs and hips and thighs and an ass like a woman is supposed to. She doesn't look like a teenaged boy or a malnourished orphan. I also love that despite the fact that she's a hot, young actress who has dated other famous people like Jared Leto, Josh Hartnett and is currently married to that piece of hot Canadian ass Ryan Reynolds, we don't see a whole lot of her in the tabloids. Twats like Lindsay, Paris and Britney complain about tabloids and paparazzi but the truth is they love that shit, they eat it up, they would die without it and worse, they court it. Scarlett is proof that it's possible to be famous and private. Shit, she managed to get married to Ryan Reynolds without one piece of information or photo leaking to the tabloids. This is in stark contrast to Lohan who bitches on and on about the tabloids and privacy whilst taking to her very public myspace blog every other day to dispel breakup rumours about her and Samantha Ronson or speak out about her dysfunctional family of fellow famewhores. Anyway, ScarJo appears on the cover of February's Harper's Bazaar and gives me more reason to love her...




In the mag Mrs. Reynolds talks about babies or more specifically, how she doesn't want any saying this about pregnancy rumours;
"That must mean I've been eating way too many bagels or something. I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to be anytime soon." I love that she has the balls to admit she's not all about the babies. For some reason, as progressed as our society is supposed to be, five minutes after a woman gets married she's supposed to be babymaking or least dreaming wistfully about the day she will become a mother. Just look at Jennifer Aniston. I don't believe for a hot minute she wants kids, cause if she did, wouldn't she kinda have them by now? Bitch is staring down the barrel of 40. And that's totally cool for Aniston but do you think America's Sweetheart could admit it? After Brad Pitt took up with Angelina and had 17 kids in the span of two weeks, Aniston gave an interview to Vogue in which she assured everyone she most definitely wanted children. Uh Huh. So much so that after her ten-year run on Friends wrapped up, she signed up for about ten thousand film projects. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on Jen for not wanting kids and if Brad desperately wanted them, as he obviously did, he had every right to find someone who wanted the same thing. I just hate that society puts so much pressure on women to be maternal that we're judged if we admit "hey, I don't want kids, it's not for me," and have to placate others by saying shit like "oh maybe one day." Why don't men get as pressured? Everyone thinks it's wicked awesome that George Clooney is a lifelong bachelor. I can't tell you how many times I've been told "oh you'll change your mind" when I express my lack of desire to procreate.

Scarlett Johannson may have a kid one day (and with Ryan Reynolds as her baby daddy that will be one good-looking kid) but I give her props for saying she doesn't want one right now, and without qualifying her statement with assurances that though she doesn't want one now, she most definitely will in the future.