I don't really like kids.
That's probably why I've never carried one to term.
I don't dislike all kids, some friends have some pretty cool and adorable ones but I'm not really sold on the idea of having one of my own. One of the many, many, many things holding me back is the thought of actually giving birth. I've heard horror stories. Why don't I adopt, you say? Well because if I'm going to spend 18 plus years and hundreds of thousands of dollars raising the damn kid, bitch better at least look like me. Anyway, labour is apparently one of the most painful experiences ever. Or is it?
20/20 recently featured a story on some shenanigans called 'orgasmic childbirth.' Two words that shouldn't be in the same sentence unless you are some kind of insane masochist, right? But apparently there are women out there who claim they've achieved the big O while pushing out junior. This seems like lie telling to me but they swear it's true. I've posted a youtube link to the story at the bottom of this post during which a doctor says the following:
"When the baby's coming down the birth canal, remember it's going through the exact same positions as something going in, a penis going into the vagina to cause an orgasm."
That may be true and though babies and penises have some things in common (like no matter how much you do for them, how well you treat them, they'll never really, truly pay you back) they have one major difference; size.
It's quite possible I need to find a new social circle but I really don't think there are a whole lotta dudes out there swinging around seven pound, twenty-one inch cocks and if there are, they are not getting anywhere near my delicate lady parts.
Here's the youtube clip.....if you dare:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o7PjEUZ_5Q
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