Monday, February 9, 2009

Wrigley Gum Spits Out Chris Brown


Chris Brown is thinking he'd like to double his pleasure and double his fun by beating down on both these bitches.

As I suspected might happen, Doublemint has dropped Chris Brown's ass in the wake of the controversy surrounding his alleged beatdown of Rihanna. A spokesperson for Wrigley gum told US Weekly;

"Wrigley is concerned by the serious allegations made against Chris Brown...we have made the decision to suspend the current advertising featuring Brown and any related marketing communications until the matter is resolved."

As I said before, Wrigley holding on to a guy accused of assaulting his girlfriend while Kellogg's dumped Michael Phelps' butterface for simply smoking pot would have been ten shades of fucked. Hey America! It's okay to smack your bitch up, just don't light up a fatty after wiping that dumb bitch's blood off your hands cause that would be immoral!



Rumours have been swirling all day about the extent of Rihanna's alleged injuries, reports range from bruises to her face to a broken jaw and possible bite marks on her arms. Biting is not cool unless you're both naked and even then, only in moderation, some of us don't want to wait three weeks before we can wear a short-sleeved top in public again, asshole! Anyway, back to Rihanna. Her people aren't talking, saying only "Rihanna is well. Thank you for concern and support." If Rihanna was not the victim in question here her reps would be denying the fuck out of it so it's pretty obvious it was her. Several outlets are full-on identifying her as the alleged victim. Chris Brown has hired Mark Geragos as his lawyer. Geragos has previously represented alleged child toucher Michael Jackson, pregnant wife killer and all around useless piece of shit Scott Peterson and fast fingers Winona Ryder. Brown's ass is due in court March 5th.

In the meantime he's pulled out of a scheduled performance at Sunday's NBA all-stars game. Both Chris and Rihanna canceled last night's Grammy performances last minute. Kim Kardashian, who's late father represented wife killer OJ Simpson, took to her blog to talk about Chris and Rihanna.

"I am in shock Rihanna and Chris canceled on this year’s Grammy show! I was SO looking forward to seeing both of them. They were essentially going to be the prom queen and king this year."




Uhm.. Bitch? Why was your ass even at the Grammys? In the words of the brilliant Joel McHale, Kim Kardashian is famous for having a big ass and a sex tape. Is getting pissed on by a third rate R&B singer really all it takes to get an invite to the big show?

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